look at THIS!
Eradicating sadness! Make me empty promises, Maria! I'll take them. With the gym with me, as I try to release endorphins to elevate my mood hence alleviating the feeling that we are all doomed to a mediocre existence rife with pain and futile struggle only to end in a torturous and lonely death!
Or something.
See? See?
My medication is WORKING!
P.S. In case you have more to do than I do tune in exactly to min. 3:25 of that video. The first part is kinda boring but it picks up. It picks right up.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
I can't feel my hands.
TWO GREAT THINGS ON A DAY WHEN I DON'T FEEL GREAT! UNLESS BY 'GREAT' YOU MEAN 'A SADNESS THAT THE FORMER USSR [I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL IT NOW] COULD FILL BUT NOT ALLEVIATE'!
A) [THANK YOU, ALEX, FOR SHOWING ME YET ANOTHER FABULOUS MARIA BAMFORD VIDEO]
MARIA BAMFORD IS STILL FUCKING HILARIOUS
AND
B) CUCUMBER VODKA?????? IF I WAS DRINKING SOME CUCUMBER VODKA I WOULDN'T FEEL A YAWNING CHASM OF DESPAIR REACHING FOR ME!!!! RIGHT???!!! I SHOULD BUY THIS PRODUCT!
good luck.
it's a jungle out there.
A) [THANK YOU, ALEX, FOR SHOWING ME YET ANOTHER FABULOUS MARIA BAMFORD VIDEO]
MARIA BAMFORD IS STILL FUCKING HILARIOUS
AND
B) CUCUMBER VODKA?????? IF I WAS DRINKING SOME CUCUMBER VODKA I WOULDN'T FEEL A YAWNING CHASM OF DESPAIR REACHING FOR ME!!!! RIGHT???!!! I SHOULD BUY THIS PRODUCT!
good luck.
it's a jungle out there.
Monday, November 17, 2008
A Christmas Tale and some pork... no, a lot of pork.
So this weekend the PIC (Partner-in-Crime, in case you don't know) and I saw some kick ass friends from the great state of Maine who came to visit us and NYC and they brought us some homemade sausage. That's right - HOMEMADE SAUSAGE. Try not to drool. They brought us several kinds and a big side of bacon. Now, I have never had real bacon before and ladies and gentlemen, it ROCKS. We cut bacon strips from the side of... pig, I'm assuming, and I fried that shit right up. It was finger-smacking good.
I can easily say that I've never eaten that much pork in one weekend in my life. And I certainly enjoyed it.
If you are interested in purchasing said meat products from my friend who makes them for sale, drop me a line and I'll get you in contact with him. It DOES go especially well (if I may do some self-promotion here... Oh! You may! You may!) with Harriett's Hot Mustard which I make.
We also watched the French movie "A Christmas Tale" which is in theatre's right now, but is also conveniently available On Demand through HBO. It stars Catherine Deneuve and several other well-known French actors, and was ... okay. I was hoping to add another film to my current favorite holiday favorites (Home for the Holidays being my all-time favorite minus the implausible love-relationship between Holly Hunter and Dylan McDermott), but alas, this was not to be.
The film opens with Deneuve being diagnosed with a rare form of blood cancer and her children's complex and extremely strained relationships with one another being mapped out for the audience. That, in and of itself, was not enough to put me off because the Voice described as a "comedy" and I, more than most, am willing to admit that those things that bring us the most despair are often the funniest. And there are some wonderful moments amongst the family members whose comments to one another are brimming, nay DRIPPING, with sarcasm and wit. This does not, sadly, make up for the fact that most of the characters just don't JIVE.
Perhaps if I had not approached it with the pre-set context of "holiday film" in my mind I would have warmed to it more... but likely not. It's too strained, frayed and ... well, too FRENCH for my tastes. And I love me some French cinema.
I can easily say that I've never eaten that much pork in one weekend in my life. And I certainly enjoyed it.
If you are interested in purchasing said meat products from my friend who makes them for sale, drop me a line and I'll get you in contact with him. It DOES go especially well (if I may do some self-promotion here... Oh! You may! You may!) with Harriett's Hot Mustard which I make.
We also watched the French movie "A Christmas Tale" which is in theatre's right now, but is also conveniently available On Demand through HBO. It stars Catherine Deneuve and several other well-known French actors, and was ... okay. I was hoping to add another film to my current favorite holiday favorites (Home for the Holidays being my all-time favorite minus the implausible love-relationship between Holly Hunter and Dylan McDermott), but alas, this was not to be.
The film opens with Deneuve being diagnosed with a rare form of blood cancer and her children's complex and extremely strained relationships with one another being mapped out for the audience. That, in and of itself, was not enough to put me off because the Voice described as a "comedy" and I, more than most, am willing to admit that those things that bring us the most despair are often the funniest. And there are some wonderful moments amongst the family members whose comments to one another are brimming, nay DRIPPING, with sarcasm and wit. This does not, sadly, make up for the fact that most of the characters just don't JIVE.
Perhaps if I had not approached it with the pre-set context of "holiday film" in my mind I would have warmed to it more... but likely not. It's too strained, frayed and ... well, too FRENCH for my tastes. And I love me some French cinema.
Stage fright
So one of my biggest personal goals right now is to address this issue that has plagued me since I was little: stage fright. It's unfortunate because the only thing I've ever really wanted to do with my time is perform on stage and it's the one thing that makes me want to pass out.
I've studied theatre on and off since I was young and I've done it occasionally, sometimes more than that. But I keep coming up against my fear of being in front of people. More often than not, once I'm on stage it's fine. Sometimes it's not and I am not able to forget that I'm being WATCHED and I can't access my creative place and I don't do very well but most of the time I can get into a groove at some point. But the panic (and I do mean PANIC) that I experience beforehand is horrible. I can't talk to anyone or deal with anything. If I remain very still and control my breathing I can usually make it through without feeling like I'm literally going to die. But that is so extreme, I'm determined to find a way to lessen that so I can function.
Right now I'm taking improv class in an effort to get my creative muscle re-attuned to performing. I haven't performed since moving to NYC and it's time. I've been busy doing other things like setting up a life with my now husband which has been so fucking awesome I can't believe how lucky I am! But now it's time to concentrate on me and what I want for myself.
So many women I know at my age are in this conundrum of being at child-bearing age and yet not ready to have children for a myriad of reasons; Financially, emotionally, relationship-wise, career-wise... we want to be set before we procreate. It's scary and exciting at the same time.
I remember after college watching some of my friends go to grad school and thinking, "I have no idea what I want to do with my life yet". Loving theatre, philosophy and the arts was not enough to guide me in the direction of a specific career... you have to really WANT something to go after it with everything you've got. And if you don't know what that something is and have a plan, most likely, you're not going to get it. You may not get it anyway, but you most certainly won't get there just by showing up.
Having said that, life leads you in places you can't anticipate most of the time and that is the exciting part. But for me, growing up on my own (which was very different from the growing up I did in my parents house) has been a hugely rewarding process. My life is very rich in many ways that it would not be had I placed a huge importance on succeeding in my twenties. I'm glad I took the time to get to know myself before getting to this point. I have incredible friends, a perverted, strange, creative, smart and totally lovable husband, and have had the opportunity to live different places and go where I want, when I want, as a result.
However. I'm 34 without a job, nevermind a career, and I need to find a way to make myself happy while providing myself with a life that will help me and my husband to flourish as people and not paint us into a corner.
Puzzles, puzzles. What to do, what to do.
For all of my weaknesses (of which there are plenty), I am a determined person who, once I sink my teeth into something, does not let go. And I'm getting a picture (albeit still a little out of focus) of what I might like to do. That I will not share with anyone until I know for certain a few basic things. So many people have an opinion when they should not that I have learned to keep my hopes to myself until it is time to act (if you'll pardon the pun).
I've studied theatre on and off since I was young and I've done it occasionally, sometimes more than that. But I keep coming up against my fear of being in front of people. More often than not, once I'm on stage it's fine. Sometimes it's not and I am not able to forget that I'm being WATCHED and I can't access my creative place and I don't do very well but most of the time I can get into a groove at some point. But the panic (and I do mean PANIC) that I experience beforehand is horrible. I can't talk to anyone or deal with anything. If I remain very still and control my breathing I can usually make it through without feeling like I'm literally going to die. But that is so extreme, I'm determined to find a way to lessen that so I can function.
Right now I'm taking improv class in an effort to get my creative muscle re-attuned to performing. I haven't performed since moving to NYC and it's time. I've been busy doing other things like setting up a life with my now husband which has been so fucking awesome I can't believe how lucky I am! But now it's time to concentrate on me and what I want for myself.
So many women I know at my age are in this conundrum of being at child-bearing age and yet not ready to have children for a myriad of reasons; Financially, emotionally, relationship-wise, career-wise... we want to be set before we procreate. It's scary and exciting at the same time.
I remember after college watching some of my friends go to grad school and thinking, "I have no idea what I want to do with my life yet". Loving theatre, philosophy and the arts was not enough to guide me in the direction of a specific career... you have to really WANT something to go after it with everything you've got. And if you don't know what that something is and have a plan, most likely, you're not going to get it. You may not get it anyway, but you most certainly won't get there just by showing up.
Having said that, life leads you in places you can't anticipate most of the time and that is the exciting part. But for me, growing up on my own (which was very different from the growing up I did in my parents house) has been a hugely rewarding process. My life is very rich in many ways that it would not be had I placed a huge importance on succeeding in my twenties. I'm glad I took the time to get to know myself before getting to this point. I have incredible friends, a perverted, strange, creative, smart and totally lovable husband, and have had the opportunity to live different places and go where I want, when I want, as a result.
However. I'm 34 without a job, nevermind a career, and I need to find a way to make myself happy while providing myself with a life that will help me and my husband to flourish as people and not paint us into a corner.
Puzzles, puzzles. What to do, what to do.
For all of my weaknesses (of which there are plenty), I am a determined person who, once I sink my teeth into something, does not let go. And I'm getting a picture (albeit still a little out of focus) of what I might like to do. That I will not share with anyone until I know for certain a few basic things. So many people have an opinion when they should not that I have learned to keep my hopes to myself until it is time to act (if you'll pardon the pun).
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Let the Right One In
If you live in NYC I highly, highly recommend the movie "Let The Right One In" - a Swedish vampire flick at the Angelika right now. I went to see it a while ago with my husband and a friend and it was awesome. It's actually an excellent film AND it's a vampire movie.
I am into vampires as I have been for a while. I have read the Twilight series (a film that does not promise to be good, but one I will see and enjoy, I'm sure), I watch True Blood with all the dedication of a fanatic but I swear to you this is not why I'm recommending this film.
The sound is incredible, the characters are real and interesting and the pace and tone make it unusual and captivating.
Okay, I've said enough. I went to see it after scanning the Voice's review (which is what made me want to see it) and didn't really know anything about it. That was a good way to see it - without watching previews or reading plot synopsis.
I am into vampires as I have been for a while. I have read the Twilight series (a film that does not promise to be good, but one I will see and enjoy, I'm sure), I watch True Blood with all the dedication of a fanatic but I swear to you this is not why I'm recommending this film.
The sound is incredible, the characters are real and interesting and the pace and tone make it unusual and captivating.
Okay, I've said enough. I went to see it after scanning the Voice's review (which is what made me want to see it) and didn't really know anything about it. That was a good way to see it - without watching previews or reading plot synopsis.
Voting Day!
Well, today we will see who the United States chooses as our next President. Dear god, let it be Obama! Otherwise I'm seriously going to be depressed.
Jon and I got up early today and walked down to the voting facility which was held in a high school gym. It was easy-peasy. In and out in 10 minutes.
I am heading to the UWS tonight to hopefully celebrate Obama/Biden's victory with Saramanda at a Columbia bar.
I'm taking another improv class at UCB (Upright Citizen's Brigade) and it's proving to be difficult, but a great learning experience. The first class I was so nervous I almost crawled out of my own skin. But yesterday, the second class, went a little better. I made a lot of mistakes, but I also risked more so I will take that happily.
I have Curtis Gwinn as a teacher and enjoy his comments. He is not going to sugar coat anything... he will tell you when you make a mistake or wander off-track. But he seems to be fair in his criticism and also tells you when you have done something successful. Which makes those times all the more fun!
In general, I'm trying to get some things I've sewn up on Etsy.com under "BadGalQuilts". I have a lot of ideas for sewing projects and have so many things I want to make. No one, except for some friends, has bought anything yet. But I have hope. I would buy my stuff and especially as I move away from tea towels (which are the only things up there right now) and into bags and napkins, placemats etc. I think it will pick up. I will post a couple of photos of my favorites at the end.
My life seems to be one big experiment right now. There are a lot of pieces that I am trying to put together and have work... and I'm not sure how that will go! But the good news is I love living in NYC, love our apartment, love my husband and friends. If I can just find a way to balance my creative side with a way to make money I will be a happy camper.
Happy Election Day!
Get out there and vote!
Jon and I got up early today and walked down to the voting facility which was held in a high school gym. It was easy-peasy. In and out in 10 minutes.
I am heading to the UWS tonight to hopefully celebrate Obama/Biden's victory with Saramanda at a Columbia bar.
I'm taking another improv class at UCB (Upright Citizen's Brigade) and it's proving to be difficult, but a great learning experience. The first class I was so nervous I almost crawled out of my own skin. But yesterday, the second class, went a little better. I made a lot of mistakes, but I also risked more so I will take that happily.
I have Curtis Gwinn as a teacher and enjoy his comments. He is not going to sugar coat anything... he will tell you when you make a mistake or wander off-track. But he seems to be fair in his criticism and also tells you when you have done something successful. Which makes those times all the more fun!
In general, I'm trying to get some things I've sewn up on Etsy.com under "BadGalQuilts". I have a lot of ideas for sewing projects and have so many things I want to make. No one, except for some friends, has bought anything yet. But I have hope. I would buy my stuff and especially as I move away from tea towels (which are the only things up there right now) and into bags and napkins, placemats etc. I think it will pick up. I will post a couple of photos of my favorites at the end.
My life seems to be one big experiment right now. There are a lot of pieces that I am trying to put together and have work... and I'm not sure how that will go! But the good news is I love living in NYC, love our apartment, love my husband and friends. If I can just find a way to balance my creative side with a way to make money I will be a happy camper.
Happy Election Day!
Get out there and vote!
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