The Atheism Tapes

I watched "An Education" last night with Jon on Netflix. It was ok. It didn't blow me away- it was a cringe-fest, as we say, for the first half and the second half was pretty predictable but the story was well told and the acting was good. It's not quite believable... but nonetheless, a good story.

Then I started watching "The Atheism Tapes" which are interviews with theologians, philosophers, scientists on why they are atheists and what that means in today's culture. I think it's fascinating (there are 6 episodes available on Instant on Netflix) and I'm excited to keep watching them.

Growing up as a minister's daughter I struggled with my own belief system. I used to believe in God and then realized (really realized and accepted) the fact that I don't believe in God at age 23 or so. It was a huge shift in how I saw the world and myself in it... I actually prefer how I see it now, probably because it feels true to me, although I am still nostalgic for the days of church, music, common understanding and community. I still listen to hymns at Christmas and Easter at home, I am constantly trying to find nourishment for my mind and soul (if you want to call it that, I'm not going to be a stickler). I just don't at all believe there's a deity in charge. Not even a little.

Things happen that I don't understand that are strange and wondrous and mysterious and I enjoy it and think someday we will be able to begin to understand them with science. I'm not in a rush - I like some mystery in life. I think people need to believe in God to feel less alone, less lost and to not be as afraid to die as they would be if we were "on our own" as a species.

I personally find the "benign indifference" of the world quite calming. There's no one pulling strings, judging me, trying to justify genocide and suffering - these things just are and we can work to abolish them, make the human race better (as we should!), and they will long outlive me. I love to look up at the stars and think of how small I am in reference to the Universe; how little I matter! Of course, to me, I matter a great deal and will live my life as if it's my one and only, because guess what?

But it's nice to hear educated people discuss what it means to be an atheist, the frustrations that come along with that in our culture today and linguistically what it is to have this view.

http://www.amazon.com/Atheism-Tapes-Richard-Dawkins/dp/B00175GAIS

Shit I want but don't need, pt. 304

Sales! Things! I'm an American! I love to consume!

Check it out - just got this inspired, once again, by my sister-in-law over the holiday.

This is the best cheese slicer ever. I grew up with one and took it for granted. The Norwegian cheese slicer is the best in the world and available for cheap on Amazon!

This throw we got from Crate & Barrel in blue - it's on sale for $30. Deal!


I have no $ to spend on shit we don't need. (For me, that means I want more clothes.) But all these sales! I'm drooling.

Happy 2011

A new year, a new attitude, a new list of to-do's.

I spent the holiday with family which was very enjoyable. It's always a let down to wake up on Jan. 2nd thinking, "Sigh... the celebration is over, now it's back to regular life." But then I realize that I like regular life and have personal goals to attend to and get excited about that.

I have a baby quilt to make on commission.
I have cat hammocks to make and donate to my local cat shelter.
I have an apt to clean, laundry to do, things to write, to film, to edit, to work out, lose weight, become my better self that I am constantly revising and analyzing.

The list is long.
I have realized that I am hoping to be in the doing phase of my life. I spent many years analyzing myself, my life, my mind and soul... and now I want to implement some of that knowledge into action, into being so it's not just me, myself and I in my apt gazing out at the days as they pass. I'm a day dreamer and it's easy for me to let time pass without too much marking it. The time will pass anyway, right?

I'm not thin enough, rich enough, employed enough for my taste, but join the club! We're in a recession, there's snow on the ground, it's cold out, people are leaving NYC cuz they can't afford to live here... I'm surely not alone.

I have a job, a home, a life. I am thankful for all of these.

All of this nonsense, all these lists, items, ideas are my way of saying - I think I'm ok with how life is going right now; it's not perfect, it's not even close, but it's good. That's enough, right?