whew!
a lot in this week's Times that i find interesting. no time to finish reading or write, but i wanted to share the highlights.
Brooklyn Flea, brought to you by the makers of Brownstoner.
Can We See Our Hypocrisy to Animals? by Nicholas Kristof
Chicken with Cardamom from "Jerusalem"
Millet with Corn, Mango & Shrimp
Chilled Cucumber Soup with Avocado Toast
Nothing to See Here: Demoting the Uncertainty Principle from The Stone
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Monday, July 15, 2013
Manifesto, in process
About politics, social issues, logistics- be loud, be strong, be willing to offend & look foolish to get what you want.
With loved ones, be gentle, listen, be kind, be your most generous self. When they act badly, know it comes from a place of pain, insecurity or hurt, and they need your compassion.
With yourself, listen. Above all else, listen. Give yourself the compassion you more easily give to others. Be strict, be fair. Know that you are in charge. No matter what happens, you are the boss of your life. No one else is responsible for your life, your decisions but you, even when things happen that are out of your control. Don't borrow trouble.
On fear, tremble. Pay enough attention to know when to be afraid and when to dismiss foolish thoughts of neuroses. Be afraid, feel the adrenalin and the clarity of fear. Then do what you're afraid of with your limbs shaking. Later you will know how courageous you were.
On dreams. Never give up, try not to get distracted. When you need a break, take one. Then get back to work. Never give up. Never listen to those who tell you all the reasons why your dreams won't work. It's just noise. Focus, take a step towards your dream each day, no matter how small.
On loss. It will consume you. Trust that the great current of nature will once again lift you up to the surface so you can breathe. When you need help, ask for it and know you are never alone.
With loved ones, be gentle, listen, be kind, be your most generous self. When they act badly, know it comes from a place of pain, insecurity or hurt, and they need your compassion.
With yourself, listen. Above all else, listen. Give yourself the compassion you more easily give to others. Be strict, be fair. Know that you are in charge. No matter what happens, you are the boss of your life. No one else is responsible for your life, your decisions but you, even when things happen that are out of your control. Don't borrow trouble.
On fear, tremble. Pay enough attention to know when to be afraid and when to dismiss foolish thoughts of neuroses. Be afraid, feel the adrenalin and the clarity of fear. Then do what you're afraid of with your limbs shaking. Later you will know how courageous you were.
On dreams. Never give up, try not to get distracted. When you need a break, take one. Then get back to work. Never give up. Never listen to those who tell you all the reasons why your dreams won't work. It's just noise. Focus, take a step towards your dream each day, no matter how small.
On loss. It will consume you. Trust that the great current of nature will once again lift you up to the surface so you can breathe. When you need help, ask for it and know you are never alone.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
quiet moment
yesterday i did a great yoga/stretching workout dvd and at the end i was able to lie on my back, allowing my muscles to relax into the floor and my mind wander.
it was a beautiful moment. i don't have many moments like that and when i have them, they are precious.
i lay there feeling the burn in my muscles and the endorphins course through my body and pictured my chest cavity opening up to the world, the sky, beyond our atmosphere. this thought went through my mind, "i hope death is an orgiastic experience with the universe. i will go back to from where i came and i hope i am reabsorbed into everything."
it was a beautiful moment. i don't have many moments like that and when i have them, they are precious.
i lay there feeling the burn in my muscles and the endorphins course through my body and pictured my chest cavity opening up to the world, the sky, beyond our atmosphere. this thought went through my mind, "i hope death is an orgiastic experience with the universe. i will go back to from where i came and i hope i am reabsorbed into everything."
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
echo
yesterday, as i was reading my son a picture book that we read a lot something exciting happened. he's 10 1/2 months old now. he was really, really tired when i was reading it with him, it was almost bath and bed time. (we have 3 cats, this is important.) i was flipping through the pages identifying what was on each page, "apple, balloon, clock, rabbit, keyhole, hill..."etc. and he was silently, but attentively, flipping the pages. and when we got to the page of a cat he said, "mwarrrahhahaam!" and flipped the page. i think it was his version of "meow". yay! he can tell what representations of real things are! he knows what a cat is!
and just now i was looking at photos of wellfleet, ma on cape cod where i went growing up with my parents. i have very fond memories of wellfleet and would love a summer house there. it's a *little* pricey but i still dream. there was a photo of a beach near where we used to stay, and a photo of the water close up.
and all of a sudden- SO CLEARLY i could see my parents. on the beach. dad getting ready to take the boat out to go fishing. mom reading a book, feet in the sand. i could FEEL them. as though those things are still happening...just happening very, very far away.
clear as a damn bell. i see you, mom and dad. i hear you, i feel you. a part of us is still on that beach. enjoying life together.
and just now i was looking at photos of wellfleet, ma on cape cod where i went growing up with my parents. i have very fond memories of wellfleet and would love a summer house there. it's a *little* pricey but i still dream. there was a photo of a beach near where we used to stay, and a photo of the water close up.
and all of a sudden- SO CLEARLY i could see my parents. on the beach. dad getting ready to take the boat out to go fishing. mom reading a book, feet in the sand. i could FEEL them. as though those things are still happening...just happening very, very far away.
clear as a damn bell. i see you, mom and dad. i hear you, i feel you. a part of us is still on that beach. enjoying life together.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
next
6:30 am wake up, make tea, have cereal, check email
8:30 am take over watching baby, play, make bottle
9 am put baby down for nap, change into work out clothes
9:30 am do work out video, shower, receive delivered groceries
10 am have phone appointment, unpack groceries
11 am wash dishes & bottles, make orzo with pesto for baby
11:30 am baby wakes up, feed him brunch of orzo with pesto. he hates it despite having pesto before and having loved it. hmmm. feed baby strawberries and yogurt instead
12 pm print itinerary & directions for upcoming trip, play with baby, clean up from brunch, pack husband's lunch for next day: guess what? orzo with pesto for him!, put away baby's laundry
1:30 pm put baby down for potential (but doubtful) second nap, get ready to leave for baby/momma meetup and swim time, change clothes
2 pm get non-napping baby up, finish preparing for us to leave
2:20 pm leave for baby/momma meetup and swim time, call husband & friend quickly while walking
2:30pm arrive at baby/momma meetup
3 pm first time in pool with baby! he loves it! kick kick kick!
4:15pm leave baby/momma swim time & go home with very tired baby
4:30 pm feed baby bottle and put him down for second nap (please please), unpack diaper bag and stroller from meetup, do dishes, make another batch of orzo, this time with marinara for dinner, check email, change clothes
6 pm wake up tired baby & feed him dinner
6:45 baby play time while i clean up from dinner (orzo with tomato sauce a hit and orzo EVERYWHERE)
7 pm bath time
7:15 pm bottle and bed time for baby
7:30 pm check texts, email, relax, eat something, do something creative, do dishes, put away food, clean up toys, check laundry
9:30 pm check in with husband who is working late
10 pm write blog entry for the hell of it
10:15 pm read book in bed until i fall asleep
8:30 am take over watching baby, play, make bottle
9 am put baby down for nap, change into work out clothes
9:30 am do work out video, shower, receive delivered groceries
10 am have phone appointment, unpack groceries
11 am wash dishes & bottles, make orzo with pesto for baby
11:30 am baby wakes up, feed him brunch of orzo with pesto. he hates it despite having pesto before and having loved it. hmmm. feed baby strawberries and yogurt instead
12 pm print itinerary & directions for upcoming trip, play with baby, clean up from brunch, pack husband's lunch for next day: guess what? orzo with pesto for him!, put away baby's laundry
1:30 pm put baby down for potential (but doubtful) second nap, get ready to leave for baby/momma meetup and swim time, change clothes
2 pm get non-napping baby up, finish preparing for us to leave
2:20 pm leave for baby/momma meetup and swim time, call husband & friend quickly while walking
2:30pm arrive at baby/momma meetup
3 pm first time in pool with baby! he loves it! kick kick kick!
4:15pm leave baby/momma swim time & go home with very tired baby
4:30 pm feed baby bottle and put him down for second nap (please please), unpack diaper bag and stroller from meetup, do dishes, make another batch of orzo, this time with marinara for dinner, check email, change clothes
6 pm wake up tired baby & feed him dinner
6:45 baby play time while i clean up from dinner (orzo with tomato sauce a hit and orzo EVERYWHERE)
7 pm bath time
7:15 pm bottle and bed time for baby
7:30 pm check texts, email, relax, eat something, do something creative, do dishes, put away food, clean up toys, check laundry
9:30 pm check in with husband who is working late
10 pm write blog entry for the hell of it
10:15 pm read book in bed until i fall asleep
Monday, June 17, 2013
around
i've lived a thousand lifetimes already it feels. perhaps 1,000 is exaggerating. maybe three.
i'm a little lost, mom. and i need your help.
when does faith and perseverance turn into foolishness and self-delusion? are they the same thing until you succeed at something? is it like that saying, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you?
i know what i want, but i don't know how to get there. and i don't know if i'm being stupid trying to fit a round peg in a square hole. as you may remember, i'm a bit strong willed. like someone else i know.
i think i can do these things i want to do, but i'm worried about the cost. the thing i am most angry with dad about is the cost. he was very successful. and what he did to get there (i don't know if it's what he had to do, but it is what he did), wasn't worth the end result. in fact, what he did to get there is what ultimately destroyed him. *cosmic justice is a bitch*
i know i have many choices along the way. i did a good thing- i picked a good partner in life. he's strong, he understands my fight, he supports it. but life is stressful and i see him suffer and i wonder what it's all for.
we could just move to another less-expensive city and both have decent, boring jobs that pay relatively well and live a good life, albeit a life neither of us want. but we could have things. things we don't have now and won't have for a while here, probably. like vacations. rest. help. we could hire help.
you taught me to go big or go home. yes, yes, you did. don't back out on me now. and you put yourself on hold when you had me. because you threw yourself into being my mama, and i'm eternally grateful. i don't want exactly that for myself. i want to be mama bear extraordinaire, but i want other things too. things that i hope my children will admire me for, or at least be impressed by my efforts.
but since i'm stuck in the house with a little being, it's hard to tell what to do. i wait and i clean and i cook and i diet and i work out and i take care of him, the little one whose presence has changed my life for always. he gets teeth i look at them and marvel at how startlingly beautiful they are. they are jagged and oddly spaced and when he smiles they pop out at me as if to say, we are working! this little body you made with yours is working, working hard! just wait! there's more! there's more than you could dream up!
so, this is a worthy task. so what if it takes all my physical energy in a day and most of my patience and all of my sanity? there are these eyes watching me, absorbing it all.
i need a guidebook, a road map- a sign telling me, no matter what you do, DO NOT TURN THERE. because i might just turn there. knowing my sense of direction (ahem), i will.
but maybe there's magic up ahead. and only the foolish and the brave get to experience it. god knows i am both of those. can you call out from where you are? can you smell my hair? i can see your hands, hear your shaky voice as you read to me. maybe you can send me a message. i'll be listening.
i'm a little lost, mom. and i need your help.
when does faith and perseverance turn into foolishness and self-delusion? are they the same thing until you succeed at something? is it like that saying, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you?
i know what i want, but i don't know how to get there. and i don't know if i'm being stupid trying to fit a round peg in a square hole. as you may remember, i'm a bit strong willed. like someone else i know.
i think i can do these things i want to do, but i'm worried about the cost. the thing i am most angry with dad about is the cost. he was very successful. and what he did to get there (i don't know if it's what he had to do, but it is what he did), wasn't worth the end result. in fact, what he did to get there is what ultimately destroyed him. *cosmic justice is a bitch*
i know i have many choices along the way. i did a good thing- i picked a good partner in life. he's strong, he understands my fight, he supports it. but life is stressful and i see him suffer and i wonder what it's all for.
we could just move to another less-expensive city and both have decent, boring jobs that pay relatively well and live a good life, albeit a life neither of us want. but we could have things. things we don't have now and won't have for a while here, probably. like vacations. rest. help. we could hire help.
you taught me to go big or go home. yes, yes, you did. don't back out on me now. and you put yourself on hold when you had me. because you threw yourself into being my mama, and i'm eternally grateful. i don't want exactly that for myself. i want to be mama bear extraordinaire, but i want other things too. things that i hope my children will admire me for, or at least be impressed by my efforts.
but since i'm stuck in the house with a little being, it's hard to tell what to do. i wait and i clean and i cook and i diet and i work out and i take care of him, the little one whose presence has changed my life for always. he gets teeth i look at them and marvel at how startlingly beautiful they are. they are jagged and oddly spaced and when he smiles they pop out at me as if to say, we are working! this little body you made with yours is working, working hard! just wait! there's more! there's more than you could dream up!
so, this is a worthy task. so what if it takes all my physical energy in a day and most of my patience and all of my sanity? there are these eyes watching me, absorbing it all.
i need a guidebook, a road map- a sign telling me, no matter what you do, DO NOT TURN THERE. because i might just turn there. knowing my sense of direction (ahem), i will.
but maybe there's magic up ahead. and only the foolish and the brave get to experience it. god knows i am both of those. can you call out from where you are? can you smell my hair? i can see your hands, hear your shaky voice as you read to me. maybe you can send me a message. i'll be listening.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)