never run out of jam.

i just ate so much food if anyone had been watching in my apt, they would have run away screaming and never spoken to me again. i believe the list is as follows: four eggs scrambled with cheddar cheese and a side of sriracha sauce, about 1/3 of a loaf of raisin nut loaf toasted with either butter or peanut butter and jam. and maybe a few chocolate chips made it in there as well. this is what happens when an 8-month-pregnant woman decides to ignore her hunger pangs for four hours.

while i was shoveling food into my gullet i had several thoughts running through my brain, the most pronounced of which was: i vow to myself never to run out of jam.

bonne maman jam is my absolute favorite and i make sure to have at least one jar on hand at all times. my favorite flavor is raspberry preserves, but wild blueberry and marmalade come in right behind.

having just finished my food orgy i'm now sipping on my new favorite tea-
peppermint chocolate tea by the republic of tea.

they have a whole selection of chocolate teas. do you understand? A WHOLE SELECTION. i am trying to burp as often as possible, but i'm afraid the burp is actually vomit. sexy, i know.

i just returned from a trip to the midwestern city of minneapolis to see my brother and sister-in-law and aging father. it was a great trip and i'm glad we got to go, but seeing my father is always difficult. he was a charismatic man full of a zest for life, humor and passion until my mother died 11 years ago and he lost his way. i am not going to go into it fully because it's information not well suited for a blog on the internet, suffice to say, the wheels have come off the wagon. he needs to move to a new senior facility- the lovely one he's been at doesn't work anymore.

the day before we left to go on our trip, my husband and i received and computer generated audit from the IRS regarding a stock sale that wasn't reported on our taxes two years ago. oops. we thought we had submitted all the necessary paperwork, but it turns out we didn't. so now we are scrambling to come up with the documents which is always a treasure hunt. i'm a pretty organized person, although you would never guess it to speak to me, but even i don't have documents for the past 15 years on this one account. i only have the last 7 years. paper fail.

we also returned home to find that one of our three adorable cats peed all over a hefty bag with linens i no longer want that was sitting in our living room. who cares about the bag or the linens, but it's left a permanent black stain on our NEW hardwood floors that now needs to be sanded down and restained.

and did i mention we are expecting a baby? in 8 weeks. we also have to put the nursery together and finish cleaning out our closets to make room for all the baby crap associated with newborns.

none of this is world-ending, but it's enough to get my head in a state. pile on top of that, another short trip planned, projects that i swore up and down i would get working on pre-baby and you've got a woman who can barely make out the three post it pages i put up on the fridge with the list of to-dos.

the cucumbers need that extra trellis! they are grabbing onto the blueberry bush for godssakes! the snow peas need netting! how do you prune petunias? is the sore on my other cat's lip serious? why did i fail to mention it to the vet when we took 2 out of the 3 cats to the vet two days before we left town because one is mysteriously limping and the other won't stop shitting on the floor?! god, we need primer before we use the paint samples in the baby's room otherwise the COLOR WON'T BE EXACTLY RIGHT AND WE'LL PAINT THE WHOLE DAMN ROOM TO DISCOVER IT'S NOT THE CORRECT SHADE OF AQUA!

i'm also rather laaaaarge these days and making it around nyc to do errands or make appointments takes a lot more time than it used to. my baby, as i've been writing this, has been punching me in the bladder which is full with peppermint chocolate tea, thank you. the chair i'm sitting in also FAINTLY smells of cat urine...just enough to make me pause and think, was this chair violated as well? or is it something else nearby? i'll do a thorough inspection soon, but today i've already contacted my accountant, the stock company, my therapist, two friends and made a meal large enough for a small baseball team. (are they one size only?) and i haven't yet cleaned the fridge before the groceries arrive and i have to fill it up again. and oh my god, we need new cat litter and toothpaste and olive oil. ack!

and all i want to do is watch Murder at 1600 which happens to be on tv. sigh.

i'm unemployed now which is glorious so i have time to deal with all of these things, but it's amazing to me how much can happen when nothing is happening.

 i called a friend of mine who has a newborn and is not working and said she has back pain, was supposed to have all four impacted wisdom teeth removed (a procedure she has literally been avoiding since she was a teen), then a dead tree fell on their house and the landlord doesn't seem to care...she said she was taking it all in stride until she cut a beet in half the other night and was trying to get it to fit into a piece of tupperware. the damn thing just wouldn't fit and she said she just about lost her mind. she canceled her appointment to remove her teeth, gave the beet to her husband and took a deep breath. i was laughing, knowing exactly how she felt. it's all fine until the fucking beet won't fit in the goddamn tupperware.

now i only have 40 mins to clean the fridge before the groceries come so i better get to it. maybe i can sneak in some Murder at 1600 while i do it.