Looking into the mouth of the beast

What happens when OTR is out of meds, or has PMS, or the Holidays are upon me. Up On Me.

OR is just in a funky mood given all 3.

Today my husband and I are getting a xmas tree and wreath. And cleaning our disgusting home. And I'm going through months of paperwork. And making cat hammocks. And the list is literally 3 extra large post its on my refrigerator... I won't bore you.

I have good things to look forward to in the coming weeks. I love xmas.

I also am reminded of things I don't love to think about over xmas. It's amazing how sometimes in life you have thoughts/ideas/subjects you don't want to ponder inextricably intertwined with things you love and want to think about, even foster. Forget the novel concept of the artist being a man who is holding two opposing ideas in his head (Fitzgerald), try having those two ideas make love to one another in your head. Now, that's trippy.

(I said "make love"... eewwww.)

Sooooo... Bernie Madoff's son hanged himself yesterday (?), apparently. Props to you, Madoff, for killing one of your children while in prison for 150 years. That takes a certain je ne c'est quoi.

And on a lighter note (wait, there's a lighter note?), I have learned how to make a few things using typing icons or key strokes or however you would say if you spoke English well (I copied the first two from an app) and am now trying to come up with my version of Rodin's Thinking Man which I just saw in person in San Francisco for the first time.

(\(\
( -.-)
o_(")(")    a bunny!

( 8^_(|)  a Homer Simpson!

     ?
  ( ->
 [    \"\   Thinking Man! By Roe-dan! No?
----- /  /
       \ >

Here are some cats playing patty-cake and their thought process vocalized by two dudes.

What started this engaging thought-process this morning? I am watching a mediocre Mel "Sugar tits" Gibson movie and heard this quote while the "Sexy Beast " star (love love) has a conversation with a doctor after clearly learning that he has less time to live than expected due to some ailment:

-No, I can't sleep. I fall asleep and then I jolt myself awake. There's something about the darkness... I don't like it.
-I'm not a counselor. I know you want to banter with me, but I can't do that. I can just give you the facts.
-Well, we all know what the fact are; we live a while, and then we die sooner than we planned.
"Edge of Darkness"

Ta da! I likes it. Becauses I'm morbid and find the darkness acknowledged relieving and funny (not a popular viewpoint, I've found... but mine, nonetheless).

'Tis the season!

To fall on your hands and knees in front of a bunch of yard workers on your way home from work holding a bunch of groceries and bottles of booze.

Sigh. I have made my customary xmas mixes for the impending holiday season. I celebrate Christmas even though I am not religious. I LOVE Christmas! Love love love. It reminds me of my family being all together and happy(ish)!

Here is the list of my "Classic Xmas" mix:

First Noel
What Child Is This?
Good King Wenceslas
We Three Kings
Silent Night
God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen
Handel's Messiah: Hallelujah
The 12 Days of Xmas
Sussex Carol
Carol of the Bells
Have Yourself a Merry Little Xmas
O Come All Ye Faithful
Ode to Joy
Good Christian Men, Rejoice
Sleigh Ride
Deck the Halls
Waltz of the Flowers
O Little Town of Bethlehem
Angels We Have Heard on High
Adeste Fideles
The Holly & The Ivy
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
O Come Emmanuel

I have a "Funky Xmas" one too that I will share with you at some other point. I particularly enjoy recordings from Westminster Boys' Choir, St. Paul's Cathedral, Trinity Church Wall Street, London Symphony Orchestra.

And Judy Garland's "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" which I'm listening to right now. Nuthin like it.

I have to go sew something. Merry Merry!

Clown Time

We've all seen Christine O'Donnell's crazy-ass ad stating she's not a witch (um... did that need to be said out loud?).

???

I don't want to state the obvious, but this is total clown time.

Here's the ad for you to check out to refresh your memory:
Christine O'Donnell Ad

And here's the SNL spoof (of course):
SNL Spoof

And here's Elvira's spoof (hurrah):
Elvira's Spoof

Be afraid, Delaware, be very afraid. And guys, I'm really not a sorceress. And you're not the Sheriff of Nottingham, and he's not the Easter Bunny, and she's not Lady Guinevere.

Have a great day. [Poof!]

Post Secret & lovin la vida loca (god, did i just type that?)

Do you read Post Secret? Well, I do. Every Sunday I tune in to see what people submit as their secrets... I love it. I think it's fascinating what they choose to admit and how they present it.

Today I found one that read:

"My creative gifts are worth the mental illness I've suffered for them"

And I couldn't agree more. I have some trouble with reality sometimes... but there's no question I'd have this brain/heart again.

Making my own life.

I have a lot of trouble motivating myself to do things. Once I get an idea in my head that something needs to happen - look out! I will stop at almost nothing to get it done and get it done very well. But getting myself to care about things - how clean my apt is (actually I always care, I just may not clean it), waxing my eyebrows, paying the bills, exercising, putting away laundry... these things are difficult for me to do. I know, I know... nobody likes to do these things but it is like walking through cement sometimes to get them done. I think this is related to the depression I've been battling since I was about 13. I'm finally on medication for it and it seems to really help.

But even so, I wake up a lot of mornings and have to force myself to do things. Once I clean or wax or work out or organize I feel SO GOOD! And that's what I keep reminding myself... this is for YOU, dummy.

Today is a gorgeous day in NYC and I am about to clean up and vacuum so we can start the week with an apt that is neat so when we come home exhausted from work we can say, "Aaaahhhh, we're home" instead of "Oh god, what a mess." It might have something to do with the fact that my husband has been down with the flu for the week, leaving me to do all the cleaning/cooking/maintenance, and that both of us work a lot and have almost no down time. Hmmm..

And then I'm going for a bike ride. Watch me.

I dreamed about an ex this morning.

I dreamed about an ex and I want him outta my head. You know when you have a crystal clear dream of a time that has passe... sorry, had to pet two cats on either side of me... a time that has passed and it brings back a whole slew of emotions that you don't need to relive? Yeah, that's what's happening inside my brain this morning and I want it to go away. What happened was so long ago and water under the pro... sorry, cat in my lap... water under the proverbial bridge and I don't need to rehash it.

We loved each other for a little time and then shit happened and I acted like a controlling weirdo and he acted like a douche and it was over. And scene.

The best cutting board.

Bored?

No, I'm not. I am a domestic weirdo. I once was a girl who only had vodka & cheese in her fridge. Now I plan meals in advance - complicated meals no less - and wonder what are the BEST appliances to have in my kitchen so that I can A) save space; B) multi-task; and C) look cool. Probably in that order too.

I recently put all of our spices into these jars that I ordered on Amazon.com to save space in our tiny but modern kitchen drawers. They also look awesome. I literally just loaded a fresh cartridge into my label-maker and am about to label them. Yes, that is what I mean by domestic weirdo = OCD dork. Btw, we have over 60 jars of spices.

Blah blah blah - HERE'S why I wanted to write this post. And I have to make it quick, but I have the greatest cutting board since sliced bread (never understood that phrase) - I saw it online about a year ago and then went to visit my family and my sister-in-law (who knows all the cool gadgets and stuff) has one and she loves it and says she pretty much only uses this one even though she has several wooden ones as well...


THIS IS IT!


Joseph joseph makes some cool stuff, no? I also recently got a salad bowl as a gift from a friend and I love it! Super cool and useful.

So that is my domestic weirdo report. Chop, rinse, look cool and easy storage. What else does an ex-party-girl gone OCD wife need?

(Some fucking drugs!)

Who said that?