The Atheism Tapes

I watched "An Education" last night with Jon on Netflix. It was ok. It didn't blow me away- it was a cringe-fest, as we say, for the first half and the second half was pretty predictable but the story was well told and the acting was good. It's not quite believable... but nonetheless, a good story.

Then I started watching "The Atheism Tapes" which are interviews with theologians, philosophers, scientists on why they are atheists and what that means in today's culture. I think it's fascinating (there are 6 episodes available on Instant on Netflix) and I'm excited to keep watching them.

Growing up as a minister's daughter I struggled with my own belief system. I used to believe in God and then realized (really realized and accepted) the fact that I don't believe in God at age 23 or so. It was a huge shift in how I saw the world and myself in it... I actually prefer how I see it now, probably because it feels true to me, although I am still nostalgic for the days of church, music, common understanding and community. I still listen to hymns at Christmas and Easter at home, I am constantly trying to find nourishment for my mind and soul (if you want to call it that, I'm not going to be a stickler). I just don't at all believe there's a deity in charge. Not even a little.

Things happen that I don't understand that are strange and wondrous and mysterious and I enjoy it and think someday we will be able to begin to understand them with science. I'm not in a rush - I like some mystery in life. I think people need to believe in God to feel less alone, less lost and to not be as afraid to die as they would be if we were "on our own" as a species.

I personally find the "benign indifference" of the world quite calming. There's no one pulling strings, judging me, trying to justify genocide and suffering - these things just are and we can work to abolish them, make the human race better (as we should!), and they will long outlive me. I love to look up at the stars and think of how small I am in reference to the Universe; how little I matter! Of course, to me, I matter a great deal and will live my life as if it's my one and only, because guess what?

But it's nice to hear educated people discuss what it means to be an atheist, the frustrations that come along with that in our culture today and linguistically what it is to have this view.

http://www.amazon.com/Atheism-Tapes-Richard-Dawkins/dp/B00175GAIS

Shit I want but don't need, pt. 304

Sales! Things! I'm an American! I love to consume!

Check it out - just got this inspired, once again, by my sister-in-law over the holiday.

This is the best cheese slicer ever. I grew up with one and took it for granted. The Norwegian cheese slicer is the best in the world and available for cheap on Amazon!

This throw we got from Crate & Barrel in blue - it's on sale for $30. Deal!


I have no $ to spend on shit we don't need. (For me, that means I want more clothes.) But all these sales! I'm drooling.

Happy 2011

A new year, a new attitude, a new list of to-do's.

I spent the holiday with family which was very enjoyable. It's always a let down to wake up on Jan. 2nd thinking, "Sigh... the celebration is over, now it's back to regular life." But then I realize that I like regular life and have personal goals to attend to and get excited about that.

I have a baby quilt to make on commission.
I have cat hammocks to make and donate to my local cat shelter.
I have an apt to clean, laundry to do, things to write, to film, to edit, to work out, lose weight, become my better self that I am constantly revising and analyzing.

The list is long.
I have realized that I am hoping to be in the doing phase of my life. I spent many years analyzing myself, my life, my mind and soul... and now I want to implement some of that knowledge into action, into being so it's not just me, myself and I in my apt gazing out at the days as they pass. I'm a day dreamer and it's easy for me to let time pass without too much marking it. The time will pass anyway, right?

I'm not thin enough, rich enough, employed enough for my taste, but join the club! We're in a recession, there's snow on the ground, it's cold out, people are leaving NYC cuz they can't afford to live here... I'm surely not alone.

I have a job, a home, a life. I am thankful for all of these.

All of this nonsense, all these lists, items, ideas are my way of saying - I think I'm ok with how life is going right now; it's not perfect, it's not even close, but it's good. That's enough, right?

Looking into the mouth of the beast

What happens when OTR is out of meds, or has PMS, or the Holidays are upon me. Up On Me.

OR is just in a funky mood given all 3.

Today my husband and I are getting a xmas tree and wreath. And cleaning our disgusting home. And I'm going through months of paperwork. And making cat hammocks. And the list is literally 3 extra large post its on my refrigerator... I won't bore you.

I have good things to look forward to in the coming weeks. I love xmas.

I also am reminded of things I don't love to think about over xmas. It's amazing how sometimes in life you have thoughts/ideas/subjects you don't want to ponder inextricably intertwined with things you love and want to think about, even foster. Forget the novel concept of the artist being a man who is holding two opposing ideas in his head (Fitzgerald), try having those two ideas make love to one another in your head. Now, that's trippy.

(I said "make love"... eewwww.)

Sooooo... Bernie Madoff's son hanged himself yesterday (?), apparently. Props to you, Madoff, for killing one of your children while in prison for 150 years. That takes a certain je ne c'est quoi.

And on a lighter note (wait, there's a lighter note?), I have learned how to make a few things using typing icons or key strokes or however you would say if you spoke English well (I copied the first two from an app) and am now trying to come up with my version of Rodin's Thinking Man which I just saw in person in San Francisco for the first time.

(\(\
( -.-)
o_(")(")    a bunny!

( 8^_(|)  a Homer Simpson!

     ?
  ( ->
 [    \"\   Thinking Man! By Roe-dan! No?
----- /  /
       \ >

Here are some cats playing patty-cake and their thought process vocalized by two dudes.

What started this engaging thought-process this morning? I am watching a mediocre Mel "Sugar tits" Gibson movie and heard this quote while the "Sexy Beast " star (love love) has a conversation with a doctor after clearly learning that he has less time to live than expected due to some ailment:

-No, I can't sleep. I fall asleep and then I jolt myself awake. There's something about the darkness... I don't like it.
-I'm not a counselor. I know you want to banter with me, but I can't do that. I can just give you the facts.
-Well, we all know what the fact are; we live a while, and then we die sooner than we planned.
"Edge of Darkness"

Ta da! I likes it. Becauses I'm morbid and find the darkness acknowledged relieving and funny (not a popular viewpoint, I've found... but mine, nonetheless).

'Tis the season!

To fall on your hands and knees in front of a bunch of yard workers on your way home from work holding a bunch of groceries and bottles of booze.

Sigh. I have made my customary xmas mixes for the impending holiday season. I celebrate Christmas even though I am not religious. I LOVE Christmas! Love love love. It reminds me of my family being all together and happy(ish)!

Here is the list of my "Classic Xmas" mix:

First Noel
What Child Is This?
Good King Wenceslas
We Three Kings
Silent Night
God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen
Handel's Messiah: Hallelujah
The 12 Days of Xmas
Sussex Carol
Carol of the Bells
Have Yourself a Merry Little Xmas
O Come All Ye Faithful
Ode to Joy
Good Christian Men, Rejoice
Sleigh Ride
Deck the Halls
Waltz of the Flowers
O Little Town of Bethlehem
Angels We Have Heard on High
Adeste Fideles
The Holly & The Ivy
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
O Come Emmanuel

I have a "Funky Xmas" one too that I will share with you at some other point. I particularly enjoy recordings from Westminster Boys' Choir, St. Paul's Cathedral, Trinity Church Wall Street, London Symphony Orchestra.

And Judy Garland's "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" which I'm listening to right now. Nuthin like it.

I have to go sew something. Merry Merry!

Clown Time

We've all seen Christine O'Donnell's crazy-ass ad stating she's not a witch (um... did that need to be said out loud?).

???

I don't want to state the obvious, but this is total clown time.

Here's the ad for you to check out to refresh your memory:
Christine O'Donnell Ad

And here's the SNL spoof (of course):
SNL Spoof

And here's Elvira's spoof (hurrah):
Elvira's Spoof

Be afraid, Delaware, be very afraid. And guys, I'm really not a sorceress. And you're not the Sheriff of Nottingham, and he's not the Easter Bunny, and she's not Lady Guinevere.

Have a great day. [Poof!]

Post Secret & lovin la vida loca (god, did i just type that?)

Do you read Post Secret? Well, I do. Every Sunday I tune in to see what people submit as their secrets... I love it. I think it's fascinating what they choose to admit and how they present it.

Today I found one that read:

"My creative gifts are worth the mental illness I've suffered for them"

And I couldn't agree more. I have some trouble with reality sometimes... but there's no question I'd have this brain/heart again.