two great articles on parenting

i read a lot of articles on parenting written by women these days. i miss my mom and wonder what advice she would give me now in my life. i think this article by Elsa Walsh might be close to some things she would tell me.

this was a particularly useful quote for me:
"Learn how to manage conflict, because the greater the level you can tolerate, the more freedom you will retain. Making compromises is a healthy approach to living.
For a woman to say she is searching for a “good enough” life is not failure — it is maturity and self-knowledge."

i don't have a career at the moment, but i'd like one someday. and so i try to take notes from those who have already forged that path and have a family.

this is another good one on the values we have as American parents. the things we don't realize we value and therefore emphasize when parenting our children.

it basically says we, as Americans, value intelligence over other qualities and therefore try to provide intellect-growing stimulus for our kids all the time. i do find myself thinking this way sometimes, although i also really value a person's ability to interact socially with ease and grace as well, so i'm sure i'll emphasize that with my son (something the Italians value a lot which makes sense to me).

"Every society interprets its children in its own way: The Dutch, for example, liked to talk about long attention spans and “regularity,” or routine and rest. (In the Dutch mind, asking lots of questions is a negative attribute: It means the child is too dependent.) The Spanish talked about character and sociality, the Swedes about security and happiness. And the Americans talked a lot about intelligence. Intelligence is Americans’ answer. In various studies, American parents are always seen trying to make the most of every moment—to give their children a developmental boost. From deep inside the belly of American parenthood, this is so obvious it isn’t even an observation. It is only by looking at other societies that you can see just how anomalous such a focus is."

good food for thought!