sweetness

sometimes life is so perfect, for a moment or a few, that it pierces my heart. it is so dear to me- all my loved ones, the smell of just cut grass, dawn breaking on a spring day when all is quiet and peaceful, the birds chirping with promise and joy, the sun on the ocean of a lazy afternoon, the sound of crickets on a summer night, burning leaves in fall, a ripe strawberry, the memory of watching planes land with my father and brothers, my grandmother's lipstick on a teacup, holding my husbands hand as we walk through new york, catching lightning bugs as a child, the memory of my mother's hands and voice, the end of a cocktail party with my parents when we were satisfied and tired, laughing with my dearest friends...so much laughter, christmas morning with my mother, someone else's music floating in through my windows on a breeze, the caw of a crow in the distance...the mere thought of my son. my beautiful, beautiful son.

i feel its dearness and fragility and endless beauty and in the same moment i know i will say good-bye to it one day. it is both Right and heart-breaking.

i love so deeply, i am loved so well. at the end of all of it, that's all that matters. that's all of it.

just float, float with the fish.