Tuesday, May 28, 2013

alternative baking

see? i stayed away for about 3 minutes.

then i had to share this thought/s.

i like alternative baking. some people fall into the if-you-aren't-making-the-real-thing-with-lots-of-butter-and-sugar-then-don't-bake camp. i understand that. but i like to bake with lots of butter and sugar and i like to make alternative stuff like vegan, raw, paleo, low-carb whatevers. because the fact of the matter is, i feel like SHIT after i eat baked goods.

one, i can never stop eating them after a reasonable amount. never. i will obsessively eat cookies, cake, pastry, pie, you-name-it until it's gone and do not get between me and the refrigerator. maybe it's because my mother didn't believe in feeding her little darling sweets, maybe it's because i have the alcoholic gene (yup, you heard me) and the anxiety and depressive genes- if you're predisposed to depression you crave things that provide you with more dopamine in your brain like cigarettes, alcohol, caffeine, chocolate, cocaine...this explained a LOT to me when i found out about this...but i digress- and i want to eat sugar all the time. i don't know. i don't know and it doesn't really matter.

here's what matters - i'm unhappy with my level of fitness and appearance and have been for quite some  time. truly unhappy. i exercise, i eat well, i monitor my calories and fat intake, i've lowered my blood pressure before yadda yadda yadda. BUT. if you put a dessert in front of me a switch flips in my brain and it's all i want.

one cookie? go fuck yourself. i'd rather not eat cookies than limit it to one or two. it hurts.

i eat until i feel a certain satisfying feeling and then i stop. it's always the same. the only way i have ever found to make this not happen is to keep all baked goods out of my home. i can go buy a slice of cake once in a while and eat it as quickly and greedily as i want and then i have no more.

but i love to bake. and other people love me to bake because i'm good at it. herein lies the conundrum.

so i turn to alternative baking and i'm still experimenting with what i like and don't like. i don't think i'll be making raw, vegan cheesecake again, although i'm glad i tried it.

here's the problem i have with alternative baking - don't call it cheesecake. don't call them brownies or truffles. if it doesn't have flour, sugar or butter in it it isn't a fucking brownie. sorry. it's something else. it might be delicious. but it ain't a fucking brownie.

i just saw a recipe for a gluten-free, grain-free, sugar-free, dairy-free, chocolate-free carob tuffle.
THAT IS NOT A CHOCOLATE TRUFFLE.
that's like saying New London, CT is like London, England because they're both called London.
NO.
one might be inspired from the other, but the reality is a far cry from the original.

anyway, i'm digging this grain-free baking thing. i'll let you know how it goes. but i'm not calling it cake without wheat, butter, or sugar. i'll call it something else.

notes on surgery.

1. make sure you make your nurses and doctors like you. i was exceedingly polite and charming (duh) and i think it helps.

2. make sure you get a prescription for heavy duty painkillers afterwards.

3. after surgery, whatever you do, do not ever, ever never ever sneeze. NO SNEEZING.

4. pick an online project and get lost in it because it's gonna be a while.

i had laparoscopic surgery last week and have been off my feet, as they say, since then. my husband is taking care of our son like a champ...i don't like the word champ. like a gladiator. like an adonis. (how does an adonis take care of a baby? i don't know. but i'd imagine pretty damn well.) like a...like a man who is a real man and takes care of a baby really well.

you see, now i have time for blog posts. i have lots and lots of time to post about what i'm doing. and thinking. any little teeny tiny thought skitters across my noggin...i better write that down! share that with the world! that's a keeper!

help me.
my butt hurts from sitting on it. i rotate from chair to a stroll around the apartment to the bed. i take a shower once in a while. i take a nap, i take a rest and compile recipes and photos of summer homes obsessively.

everything is perfectly all right here, ladies and germs. just another neurotic patient healing in the confines of her brooklyn apartment.

i finished watching "Cracker" which is a great show. the last two seasons are actually just an episode each and they are disjointed and strange...there's a huge 8 (?) year gap between the 4th and 5th season. not sure what happened there. some slapdash producing, perhaps?

anyway. i have to download photos off of my phone.

and do all the other things i can never do because i don't have the time.

i made a raw, vegan cheesecake. it's not cheesecake. its nuts. blended with dates and honey and lemon juice. it's tasty, but it ain't cheesecake.

ok! i'm going to sign off from my scintillating reporting. try to live without me. just try.

Monday, May 20, 2013

key lime cake, chocolate chip cookies, quinoa salad & cheddar jalapeno muffins = birthday picnic

i made the cake!
photo below. i added a layer of lime curd instead of frosting and frosting in the other layer.
the lime curd was great. i had extra whipped cream and frosting and an extra cake layer so please note the extra, sloppy cake in the background.
it tasted great.

it was a smashing success. one person told me to become a professional baker, and many others ate this cake even when they were not looking to eat a bunch of sugary stuff.

i served them at a picnic with these chocolate chip cookies from Joy of Cooking. a recipe from the 40s. it is, in my humble opinion, the best chocolate chip cookie out there.

and this quinoa salad which was yuuuuummy. it also got gobbled up.

but the biggest hit overall were these muffins. do not go another week without making these muffins. they were a huge hit.

tada!

it's foggy here in new york which means i'm happy snappy. i love fog and miss it so much. every foggy day here is a good for me.







Friday, May 17, 2013

herman

once, i had a lavender cat who had thumbs named herman.
he was a scaredy-cat from a shelter and my other cat terrorized him. until he wouldn't come out from under the bed. i hope he found a good home. i took him back to the shelter when i was certain there was no hope.

i find the balance between remaining positive enough to be a constructive (ish) person and the draw of acknowledging reality as i see it (grim, dim, salabim) completely exhausting.

i don't like anything too positive - it feels like someone is spitting in my face by denying reality.

but sometimes i hear myself and think, oh JUST SHUT UP! everyone knows how shitty the world is and we're all just trying to GET OUT OF BED WITHOUT THROWING UP.

i already feel a little better. it's this pretending to be thankful and happy and brave and upbeat...it is fucking depleting. i am all of those things sometimes. but certainly not always.

so anyway, now i'm going to go make muffins. these muffins. don't those look yummy? my husband loves cheese. and spicy things. and it's his birthday picnic tomorrow. i'm also making a key lime cake. not pie, cake. i think it will be good.

everything is better with cake. i hope my husband likes it and has fun. our life is challenging these days and we don't get much down time. i'm hoping he sees how much i love him in this cake.

food = love. duh.

i'm really tired. i bet tomorrow i will see rainbows where i now see drizzle. because tomorrow is another day.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

an excellent article.

this is one of the smartest and most well-thought-out thingy's i've read in a long time. and it happens to coincide with my fervent desire to have americans respect our enemies as human beings. i'm not sure why this is so hard for people...so hard for them to understand, but it really upsets me deeply.

this piece articulates it very well.

it gives me a sliver of hope.

Unburied: Tamerlan Tsarnaev and the Lessons of Greek Tragedy


antigone-580.jpg
“Bury this terrorist on U.S. soil and we will unbury him.”
So ran the bitter slogan on one of the signs borne last week by enraged protesters outside the Worcester, Massachusetts, funeral home that had agreed to receive the body of the accused Boston Marathon bomber Tamerlan Tsarnaev—a cadaver seemingly so morally polluted that his own widow would not claim it, that no funeral director would touch it, that no cemetery would bury it. Indeed, even after Peter Stefan, a Worcester funeral director, had washed and shrouded the battered, bullet-ridden body for burial according to Muslim law, the cadaver became the object of a macabre game of civic and political football. Cemetery officials and community leaders in the Boston area were concerned that a local burial would spark civic unrest. (“It is not in the best interest of ‘peace within the city’ to execute a cemetery deed,” the Cambridge city manager, Robert Healy, announced.) While the state’s governor carefully sidestepped the issue, asserting that it was a family matter, other politicians seemed to sense an advantage in catering to the high popular feeling. “If the people of Massachusetts do not want that terrorist to be buried on our soil,” declared Representative Edward J. Markey, a Democratic candidate for the U.S. Senate, “then it should not be.”
And so it went until late last week, when—due to the intervention of Martha Mullen, a Richmond, Virginia, woman who’d been following the story, a practicing Christian who cited Jesus’s injunction to “love our enemies” as her inspiration—Tsarnaev’s body was finally transported to a tiny Muslim cemetery in rural Virginia, and interred there in an unmarked grave. Until then, the corpse had languished for over two weeks—not only unburied but, in a way, unburiable. In one of several updates it published on the grisly affair, the Times quoted Ray Madoff, a Boston law professor who specializes in “what she calls the law of the dead,” about the case. “There is no precedent for this type of thing,” Madoff told a reporter. “It is a legal no-man’s land.”
A legal no-man’s land, perhaps, but familiar territory to anyone even casually acquainted with the Greek classics. From its epic dawn to its tragic high noon, Greek literature expressed tremendous cultural anxiety about what happens when the dead are left unburied. In part, the issue was a religious one: the souls of the dead were thought to be stranded, unable to reach the underworld without proper burial. (And without a proper tomb, or sêma—a “sign” or grave marker—a dead person could not hope for postmortem recognition, some sign that he or she had once lived and died.) The religious prohibition had civic consequences: refusal to bury the dead was considered an affront to the gods and could bring ritual pollution on the community. The right of all sides to bury soldiers who had fallen in battle was a convention of war; burial truces were regularly granted. In myth, even characters who act more like terrorists than like soldiers—for instance, the great warrior Ajax, who plots to assassinate his commanding officers but ends up dead himself—are deemed worthy of burial in the end. Which is to say, even the body of the enemy was sacrosanct.
This preoccupation with the implications of burial and non-burial haunts a number of the greatest works of Greek literature. The opening lines of the Iliad, the oldest extant work of Western poetry, refer with pointed revulsion to the possibility that the bodies of the warriors who died at Troy could become the “delicate pickings of birds and dogs”; indeed you might say that getting the dead buried—even the reviled, enemy dead—is the principle object of the epic’s grand narrative arc. Fifteen thousand lines after that opening reference to unburied corpses, the poem closes, magnificently, with a scene of reconciliation between the grief-maddened Achilles—who has daily defiled the unburied body of his mortal enemy, Hector, dragging it back and forth through the dirt before the walls of Troy—and Hector’s aged father, the Trojan king, Priam. In a gesture of redemption for himself as much as for the Trojans, Achilles finally agrees to release the body for burial. The gigantic epic ends not (as some first-time readers expect) with the Wooden Horse, or the Fall of Troy, but with the all-important funeral of the greatest of the Greeks’ enemies—a rite of burial that allows the Trojans to mourn their prince and, in a way, the audience to find closure after the unrelenting violence that has preceded. The work’s final line is as plain, and as final, as the sound of dirt on the lid of a coffin. “This was the funeral of Hector, tamer of horses.”
As for the Odyssey, it, too—for all its emphasis on its fantastical, proto-sci-fi adventures—reveals a telling preoccupation with this issue. The great adventure epic features an extended visit to the underworld, where, among other things, the flitting shades of the dead express anxiety about their own funerals (and where Odysseus learns how he himself will die, many years hence, “from the sea”); precisely at the poem’s midpoint, Odysseus dutifully halts his homeward journey—and the epic’s narrative momentum—to bury, with full honors, the body of a young sailor who has died in a clumsy accident, as if to say that even the most hapless and pointless of deaths merits the dignity of ritual. And in the work’s final, culminating book, Homer slips in the information, ostensibly en passant but of course crucial, that the bodies of the hated suitors—whose gory deaths we are, to some extent, invited to savor, given their gross outrages against Odysseus and his family—were duly permitted to be retrieved by their families for burial.
* * * 
But no work of ancient literature is as obsessed with unburied bodies as Sophocles’ “Antigone,” a tragedy first produced in Athens around 442 B.C.: the entire plot centers on the controversy over how a community that has survived a deadly attack will dispose of the body of the perpetrator of that attack—the body, as it happens, of a young man who had planned to bring destruction on the city that had been his home, who “sought to consume the city with fire…sought to taste blood.”
The young man in question is Polyneices, a son of the late, spectacularly ill-fated king Oedipus who, after a power struggle with his brother Eteocles, fled the city, eventually returning with an invading army (the “Seven Against Thebes”) to make war on his homeland. At a climactic moment in the battle, the two brothers slay each other, but the invasion is ultimately repelled and the city saved. In the opening lines of the play, we learn that the body of Eteocles, the defender of the city, has been buried with full honors, but, according to a decree promulgated by the new king, Creon (who is the young men’s uncle), no one, under pain of death, may bury or mourn Polyneices, whose corpse is to be left “unwept, unsepulchered, a treasure to feast on for birds looking out for a dainty meal.” (The particular horror, expressed from the Iliad on down, that humans could become the food of the animals we normally eat ourselves is noteworthy: a strong signal of a total inversion in the scheme of things of which the unburied body, the corpse that remains above rather than below ground, is a symptom.)
Creon, like the Senate candidate from Massachusetts, cares a great deal about public opinion, as we later learn; but it’s certainly possible to argue that his edict is grounded in a strong if idiosyncratic morality. When confronted about his rationale for enshrining in the city’s law what is, after all, a religious abomination, the king declares that Polyneices’ crime against the city has put the young man beyond morality—that while burial of any dead is a religious obligation, it is impossible to imagine that “the gods have care for this corpse,” that one might ever see “the gods honoring the wicked.” As he sputters his final line in this debate, you sense that he is acting out of a genuine, if narrow, conviction that evil men do not merit human treatment: “It cannot be.” (“It should not be”: so Representative Markey, apropos of the burial that offended the sensibilities of Massachusetts voters.)
But just as strong as Creon’s convictions are those of his niece Antigone, sister to both of the dead young men—Eteocles enshrined in his hero’s tomb, Polyneices lying naked on the ground, his nude, weapon-torn body exposed to the elements, to the ravenous birds. From the moment she appears on stage, outraged after having heard about the new edict, Antigone’s argument is for the absolute imperative of burial—indeed, for the absolute. For her, burial of the dead is a universal institution that transcends culture and even time itself: the “unwavering, unwritten customs of the gods … not some trifle of now or yesterday, but for all eternity.” (She mockingly asks whether these can be overruled by the mere “pronouncements” of Creon.) This conviction is what leads her to perform the galvanizing action of the play: under cover of night she goes to the desolate place where Polyneices’ body lies out in the open and performs a token burial, scattering some dirt on the body.
It is to this symbolic burial that a terrified soldier—one of the guards whom Creon had set around the body, to make sure no one would inter it—presumably refers later on, when he anxiously reports to Creon that someone has performed the rite. Enraged, Creon orders the man to go back and “unbury” the body: to strip off the thin covering of dirt and expose the corpse once more to the elements. It is upon his return to the foul-smelling site that the soldier discovers Antigone, who at that moment is arriving, and who cries out in despair when she sees the denuded corpse. She is taken prisoner, has her great confrontation with her uncle (from which I quote above), and, in one of the diabolically symmetrical punishments so beloved of Greek tragedians, is herself buried alive as punishment for her crime of burying the dead—walled into a tomb of rock, to expire there. (By not actually killing her, Creon, who has the master bureaucrat’s deep feeling for the small procedural detail, hopes to avoid incurring ritual pollution.)
There she does die—imperious to the end, she hangs herself, rather than waste away as anybody’s victim—but not before Creon has been persuaded of the folly of his policy. As often happens in tragedy, the persuasion takes its final form as a heap of dead bodies: not only Antigone’s but those of Creon’s son, the dead girl’s fiancé, who has slain himself over the body of his beloved, and Creon’s wife, too, who kills herself in despair at the news of their child’s violent end. The king who had refused to recognize the claims of family is, in the end, made horribly aware of how important family is.
“The claims of family” is just one way to describe what Antigone represents. The titanic battle between her and Creon is, in fact, one of the most thrilling moral, intellectual, and philosophical confrontations ever dramatized; inevitably, it has been seen as representing any number of cultural conflicts. Certainly in the play there is the tension between the family and the community, but there is also that between the individual and the state, between religious and secular worldviews, between divine and human law, feminine and masculine concerns, the domestic and political realms.
But perhaps a broader rubric is applicable, too. For you could say that what preoccupies Antigone, who as we know is attracted to universals, is simply another “absolute”: the absolute personhood of the dead man, stripped of all labels, all categories—at least those imposed by temporal concerns, by politics and war. For her, the defeated and disgraced Polyneices, naked and unburied, is just as much her brother as the triumphant and heroic Eteocles, splendidly entombed. In the end, what entitles him to burial has nothing to do with what side he was on—and it’s worth emphasizing the play is not at all shy about enumerating the horrors the dead man intended to perpetrate on the city, his own city, the pillage, the burning, the killing, the enslavement of the survivors—but the fact that he was a human being, anthropos. (This tragedy is, indeed, famous for expressing a kind of astonished wonder at what human beings are capable of, accomplishments for which Sophocles uses the ambiguous adjective “deina,” which means both “terrible” and “wonderful”—“awesome,” maybe, in the original sense of that word.) This is why, during her great debate with Creon, while the king keeps recurring to the same point—that Eteocles was the champion of the city, and Polyneices its foe, and that “a foe is never a friend”—such distinctions are moot for Antigone, since the gods themselves do not make them. “Nonetheless,” she finally declares, putting a curt end to another exchange on the subject, “Hades requires these rites.” The only salient distinction is the one that divides gods from men—which, if true, makes all humans equal.
* * * 
It was hard not to think of all this—of the Iliad with its grand funereal finale, of the Odyssey strangely pivoting around so many burials, and of course of “Antigone”—as I followed the story of Tamerlan Tsarnaev’s unburied body over the past few weeks. I thought, of course, of canny politicians eyeing the public mood, and of the public to whom those politicians wanted to pander. I thought even more of the protesters who, understandably to be sure, wanted to make clear the distinction between victim and perpetrator, between friend and foe, by threatening to strip from the enemy what they saw as the prerogatives of the friend: humane treatment in death. The protesters who wanted, like Creon, not only to deny those prerogatives to an enemy but to strip them away again should anyone else grant them—to “unbury the body.” I thought of Martha Mullen, a Christian, who insisted that the Muslim Tsarnaev, accused of heinous atrocities against innocent citizens, be buried just as a loved one might deserve to be buried, because she honored the religious precept that demands that we see all humans as “brothers,” whatever the evil they have done.
This final point is worth lingering over just now. The last of the many articles I’ve read about the strange odyssey of Tsarnaev’s body was about the reactions of the residents of the small Virginia town where it was, finally, buried. “What do you do when a monster is buried just down the street?” the subhead asked. The sensationalist diction, the word “monster,” I realized, is the problem—and brings you to the deep meaning of Martha Mullen’s gesture, and of Antigone’s argument, too. There is, in the end, a great ethical wisdom in insisting that the criminal dead, that your bitterest enemy, be buried, too; for in doing so, you are insisting that the criminal, however heinous, is precisely not a “monster.” Whatever else is true of the terrible crime that Tamerlan Tsarnaev is accused of having perpetrated, it was, all too clearly, the product of an entirely human psyche, horribly motivated by beliefs and passions that are very human indeed—deina in the worst possible sense. To call him a monster is to treat this enemy’s mind precisely the way some would treat his unburied body—which is to say, to put it beyond the reach of human consideration (and therefore, paradoxically, to refuse to confront his “monstrosity” at all).
This is the point that obsessed Sophocles’ Antigone: that to not bury her brother, to not treat the war criminal like a human being, would ultimately have been to forfeit her own humanity. This is why it was worth dying for.
* * * 
Sometimes, a less elevated instinct, a raw practicality, could lead the characters in Greek plays to a version of the same conclusion: that because we will all want to be treated like human beings at some unimaginably low moment—because we all die—we must treat the “monsters” thus, too. This, too, is a possibility worth considering right now.
It is, in fact, the point of the tart ending of another play by Sophocles—one he wrote about Ajax, the good soldier turned evil terrorist. At the end of this tragedy, written not long before “Antigone” was composed, a conflict arises over whether the body of the criminal should be buried. His enemies—Agamemnon and Menelaus, the leaders of the Greek expedition, whom Ajax had plotted to murder—insist, of course, that his body be cast forth unburied, like the body of an animal, “food for the birds.” (Again.) Yet unexpectedly, there springs to his defense a man who also had been his enemy. That man is Odysseus, who in a climactic confrontation with the two Greek generals—who are his allies and commanding officers—persuades them that to pursue their hatred after death would be grotesque. Rather typically for this type, the swaggering Agamemnon worries that to relent would make him appear “soft”; but Odysseus, wily as he always is, argues that “softness” is nothing more than justice—nothing more than acting like a human being. Then he makes his final, stark point, one with which, you suspect, even Creon wouldn’t argue:
AGAMEMNON: You will make us appear cowards this day.
ODYSSEUS: Not so, but just men in the sight of all the Greeks.
AGAMEMNON: So you would have me allow the burying of the dead?
ODYSSEUS: Yes; for I too shall come to that need.
Or, as Antigone put it, “I owe a longer allegiance to the dead than to the living, for in that world I shall abide forever.”
Daniel Mendelsohn is the author, most recently, of “Waiting for the Barbarians: Essays from the Classics to Pop Culture,” a collection of his essays for The New Yorker and The New York Review of Books, which was a finalist for the 2012 National Book Critics Circle Award. His other books include two memoirs, “The Lost” and “The Elusive Embrace”; a translation of the complete works of C. P. Cavafy; and a study of Greek tragedy. He teaches at Bard College.
Painting by Nikiforos Lytras, Antigone in front of the dead Polynices (1865), National Gallery of Greece-Alexandros Soutzos Museum.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mom

Me: Do up your seatbelt.
Her: We're only going a few blocks.
Me: Accidents happen closest to home.
Her: Well, we better move! (laughter)
Me: (eye roll)

Me: Rich people don't have any problems.
Her: You don't know that. All people have problems, rich and poor. You don't know those people or what their lives have been like - don't judge them.

She taught me that to be a perfect houseguest you should leave the place looking just a little nicer than how you found it. It is a lesson I try to apply to all areas of my life.

When I was nervous about how to talk to people I didn't know she gave me this advice:
When you don't know what to talk about, ask them a question about themselves. People love to talk about themselves and before long I'll bet you find you have something in common.

She taught me not to be afraid to ask questions, look stupid. It's how you learn.

Her: You should do one thing every day that you're afraid of.

When I was in college I went to the school where she taught learning disabled third graders to meet her class. I stood next to her slight 5'8" frame (I'm 6'2") and she beamed up at me and said to her class, This is my baby girl.
I still am.

She never gave up. Not ever. Not even when she should have.

After remembering many things my mind always goes to when she was dying and some of the things that happened, things that we both said or didn't say. I try not to focus on those. They are horribly painful memories and too layered and complicated for me to sort out. I try to remember the lessons about life, not death.

Here's what I remember most about you, Mom: You were my greatest ally, my strongest supporter, my toughest critic. You taught me what unconditional love is. You showed me. Every day for 27 years and 4 days. I miss you and I love you. Always.


Saturday, May 11, 2013

quinoa pancakes & a hangover, in my opinion

i was a party girl before i was a mom.

last night i ventured out to columbia university campus to congratulate a good friend of mine who just finished classes in her grad program for writing there. i hung out with a bunch of writers and poets and drank wine with her and her family. it was awesome.

but oops- i forgot to eat much yesterday and stayed out until 2:30am. i felt like i was 30 again. (see? some people would say 25 or even 20...not me. 30.) i even shared a cigarette with friends. it was like sex. it was incredible. and i do NOT miss smoking. blech.

i got to see my friend and her family and her writer friends and another friend who lives in south korea and i haven't seen in a few years. it was just a great night. a warm night in nyc full of energy and smart (young) people.

i feel like shheeeeeeeeeiiit today. my husband had to work so i took care of my son and if i may say so, i did a fantastic job given how crappy i feel.

part of the fantastic part was making quinoa pancakes. it seemed like a great idea. and they turned out well.

make some quinoa, and follow this recipe. couldn't be simpler. i used agave syrup instead of maple or sugar (lower on glycemic index), omitted the ground flax seed because i don't have any, and added one very ripe, mashed banana. they are so yummy my son gobbled them up as did i! i will make more and freeze them. no need to serve them with syrup, in my opinion.

i said, in my opinion.

Quinoa Pancakes

by Rachel Gurk on March 11, 2011 · 19 comments
I’m a big breakfast person. Well, I am now that I am a stay at home mom. I usually have two eggs, toast, fruit, juice and coffee. I’ll probably switch to egg whites (or at least 1 of each) when I’m done nursing and have to watch my calories more closely. Sometimes I’ll have oatmeal with ground flax, dried cranberries, fresh or frozen blueberries and toasted walnuts. So yummy. Lately I’ve been on an egg kick though. It is important for me to eat a big breakfast because sometimes I don’t get a chance to eat lunch until about 3pm. So when I came across this recipe, I tore it out because I knew it would be a good way to add protein to my breakfast. Also, it came with freezing instructions, helpful for hubby to grab as he is running out the door in the morning. My mom came to visit and made a version of these, and they were really good! I stuck a little closer to the recipe than she did. 
Quinoa Pancakes
adapted from Everyday Food magazine
1 cup cooked quinoa or brown rice (I used quinoa)
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 large egg, plus 1 large egg white (I used the pourable variety of egg whites)
1/2 tsp course salt
1 Tbsp  unsalted butter, melted, plus more for skillet
1/4 cup low fat milk (I used skim)
2 Tbsp pure maple syrup (I think my mom used white sugar but I gotta say the maple syrup is really tasty in this recipe)
2 Tbsp ground flax seed (optional, this wasn’t in the original recipe–I added it)
1) In medium bowl, whisk together quinoa, flour, baking powder, and salt. In another medium bowl, whisk together egg, egg white, butter, milk, and syrup until smooth. Add egg mixture to flour mixture and whisk to combine.
2) Lightly coat a large nonstick skillet or griddle with butter and heat over medium-high (I did medium). Drop by heaping tablespoonfuls (I used a 1/4 cup measuring cup) into skillet. Cook until bubbles appear on top, 2 minutes. Flip cakes and cook until golden brown on underside, 2 minutes. Wipe skillet clean and repeat with more melted butter and remaining batter (I skipped the wiping and skipped adding more butter–I was using a nonstick skillet. I’m sure the butter would have made it taste better, but it wasn’t necessary with the type of pan I was using). Serve with maple syrup and fresh fruit or preserves if desired. Makes about 12. (I doubled the entire recipe because I wanted to freeze some).
Freezing directions: Freeze cakes between sheets of waxed paper in sip-top bags, up to 1 month. Reheat in toaster.
Verdict: These are really, really good. They are different from your typical pancake because there is a little bit of a crunch from the quinoa. The pure maple syrup gives the pancakes a really nice flavor. I wasn’t sure how reheating them in the toaster would go, I was thinking that maybe the microwave would be better. However, I heated three of these in my toaster oven this morning, and wow! It was like they were fresh off the skillet because they were crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. Delicious.
Husband’s take: He used the toaster oven for these and he really liked them. However, he just told me “I prefer IHOP with chocolate chips and strawberries and whipped cream.” That’s my healthy hubby! No really, he is a bit of a health nut. When he wants to be. Aren’t we all?
Changes I would make: Next time I make these I’m going to try them with whole wheat flour, or maybe half whole wheat and half all purpose.
Difficulty: Easy. Just make sure you remember to make the quinoa in advance.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

a list of the best things in the universe.

hyperbole & a half's depression part 2.
this is a scarily accurate description of how i have felt (somewhere on this spectrum with a HEAVY accent on the HATE face sequence) for about 97% of my life.



and, of course, there's the God of Cake entry which is not to be overlooked. cake being one of my obsessions, i am a big fan of her interpretation of cake-vision.


i will update more to this list later. first i have to work out to release endorphins so i avoid massive depression. and no, i'm not joking.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

who would kill a monk seal?

this article in today's Times is riveting.

this is a perfect example of human complication. how science, culture, human emotion and accident all play into making this world of ours. incredible.

shakshuka with feta

as usual, i was perusing the Times Dining & Wine section and found this recipe for shakshuka. i'd never heard of it and it sounded simple and delicious. it was! i followed the recipe exactly and it turned out very well. oh, except i baked the eggs for about 15 mins because they jiggled too much at 7 and 10 minutes for my taste. then i burned my hand on the pan when i took it out of the oven. don't do that.

we ate it with truffle mushroom ravioli which was a little too heavy, next time i'll pair it with a vegetable or salad and it'll be perfect. this is a great recipe for brunch if you want impress people and have an easy time cooking.

Friday, May 3, 2013

celery potato soup & chocolate caramel tart

today we are eating healthily and need some comfort. so when i saw this recipe in the Times for celery potato soup with leeks and garlic i thought, that would be perfect. and it is. very easy to make, very delicious to eat.

i didn't bother with the bouquet garni, but threw in fresh thyme from our garden on the stem. i blended it with a hand immersion blender, didn't strain a thing, added some kosher salt, walnut oil and chives, also from our garden, and it was perfecto.

i bought a pre-made crust from the store and tried my hand for the first time at making caramel, which is surprisingly easy, as long as you know what you're doing a bit. this chocolate caramel tart from Saveur looks amazing. a friend once got a mini version for a dessert with sea salt on top and i could barely stop licking my fingers after eating it. the caramel in the pre-made crust is cooling overnight in the fridge. i will make the ganache in the morning, chill it again, add sea salt and serve it when friends come over tomorrow night. recipes this simple make me happy.

you do not need a candy thermometer to make caramel. it should boil for approx. 20-25 mins and turn the color of a copper penny but do not boil it so long it starts to smoke. (which mine totally did right before we whisked it off the heat.) that means it's burning and burnt caramel is no good, apparently. i tasted ours and it's fucking delicious so i'm not worried.

i'm really looking forward to tasting the completed tart and looking like a baking wizard.

that's right...WIZARD.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

3 things you can do to help your life and health

1. cook!

According to Michael Pollan, the author of The Omnivore's Dilemma and In Defense of Food, the number one thing you can do to change the food system in the US and to help you and your family eat better is to cook! He has a new book out called, Cooked: A Natural History of Transformation.

Well, we already cook all the time. It's hard to keep getting inspired, but I think this is one of the best things the internet can be used for. I just made this dish with artichokes, peas, and orzo over the weekend and it was delicious. It was too time intensive for my current schedule with a baby, but the end result was delicious and it fed over 6 people for a picnic, along with a sundry of other items we had.

I also can't rave enough about this garlicky broccoli recipe from the Times as well. I make it at least once a week and because of it, my husband and I eat a lot more broccoli. It's super easy to make and is just incredibly yummy.

2. stop using plastic bottles for water!

they cost too much and are a huge detriment to the planet. buy a reusable bottle and fill it up at the tap. tap water also has fluoride in it which will help prevent cavities for you and your children- not true of filtered and bottled water! Eating Well magazine suggests this Takeya bottle is a good one. I also use Camelbak bottles which are light and easy to use and BPA free.

3. grow your own herbs and food.

we grow our own herbs and some food each year. depending on where you live (climate, i mean), you can grow a bunch of different stuff. you don't need a lot of room, but you do need sun. and water. we have a patio and this year i've already planted our herbs. we will scale back the food we grow because i have a young child and don't have much time to dedicate to watering, but i'm still looking forward to fresh herbs all summer long. plus, i will freeze them so we have fresh herbs until the following spring as well. this way you know there are no harmful chemicals on your food and once established, your garden will save you some money on expensive things like fresh herbs.

my favorite things to grow are low maintenance, high-yield like tomatoes, especially cherry tomatoes, herbs, hot peppers (thai), zucchini, lettuces. this year we are doing herbs and maybe one tomato plant and that's it. we also have a fig tree and two blueberry bushes that i hope will produce a lot of berries this year!

yay, spring!