Emmet Otter's Jug Band!!!!!!!!!

My husband just showed me this because otters are my favorite animals in the world. (Don't tell my cats.)

SOoooooooooooooooooo cute!

Emmet Otter's Jug Band.

NYC Photos

Weight loss... what a bitch.

So I have decided to partially document the diet I have begun... again.

I have struggled with my weight for a long, long, long time. Even when I was thin/skinny/svelt I struggled and felt fat. I now look back at those photos of myself and think, "Holy crap, I would KILL to be that weight again". Getting older and having a slower metabolism doesn't help.

This is not reflective of my general feeling of attractiveness, sexiness, hotness etc. But I do want to lose a fairly significant amount of weight and since I have struggled with this for a while I thought I would write down some thoughts, choices, experiences as I go along. Maybe someone else will find them useful.

I have given up sugar until my birthday which is in July. I am allowed to have cake on my husband's birthday which is June and then will have a shit-ton of sugar on my birthday and make myself sick doing so. I LOVE cake. Love love love love love. I was not allowed to eat sugar growing up, or really eat a lot of anything, so now I feel immense pleasure when I get to gorge on desserts. So we'll see how that goes. I'm already (3 days in) psychotic with sugar cravings. I am allowing myself sugar in my tea and a little on my oatmeal. If you've ever eaten plain oatmeal then you know why.

No desserts, no sugary cereals, no chocolate milk etc. I'm also trying to work out 3-5 times/week (cardio & weights at the gym, yoga, kickboxing, pilates at home). And, of course, I am watching my fat, salt, and carb intake. I eat a lot of low fat meats, vegetables and fruits. The grains I do eat I try to make whole and keep them on the lighter side (Weight Watchers bread etc.). I will be doing Weight Watchers online which I have done before and it's really helped me.

I love all kinds of food passionately. I love to bake, to cook, to go out to eat. I grew up with a mother who enjoyed abstaining from foods in order to preserve her lovely figure - as a result this behavior is repugnant to me so dieting brings out a lot of negative feelings. I am trying to balance all these feelings with the feelings of wanting to feel good about my body, especially as I get older, and watch my health.

I'm 3 days into the no-sugar thing and I want to drown myself in a vat of melted chocolate. I literally moaned out loud at the deli today looking at my favorite chocolate bar. I think the woman behind the counter probably thought, "No wonder she's fat... she's moaning out loud at the mere SIGHT of chocolate." I was on my way home from the gym and was ravenous.

Ok! Off to shower and get back to my day. [Big, forced smile.]

Insomnia... and a bit of Titus

Titus Andronicus is a serious play. If you haven't read it, or seen the movie with Anthony Hopkins and Jessica Lange, I highly suggest you do. Don't do it in a fragile state of mind - it's intense and filled with violence. Perhaps my favorite dramatic monologue of all time belongs to Tamora of "Titus" fame. And for some reason, when I woke up at 4am and discovered I couldn't get back to sleep, I decided to look it up.

TAMORA: Have I not reason, think you, to look pale?

These two have ticed me hither to this place,

A barren detested vale you see it is;

The trees, though summer, yet forlorn and lean,

Overcome with moss and baleful mistletoe.

Here never shines the sun; here nothing breeds,

Unless the nightly owl or fatal raven:

And when they showed me this abhorrèd pit,

They told me, here, at dead time of the night,

A thousand fiends, a thousand hissing snakes,

Ten thousand swelling toads, as many urchins,

Would make such fearful and confusèd cries

As any mortal body hearing it

Should straight fall mad, or else die suddenly.

No sooner had they told this hellish tale

But straight they told me they would bind me here

Unto the body of a dismal yew

And leave me to this miserable death.

And then they called me foul adulteress,

Lascivious Goth, and all the bitterest terms

That ever ear did hear to such effect;

And had you not by wondrous fortune come,

This vengeance on me had they executed.

Revenge it, as you love your mother's life,

Or be ye not henceforth called my children.

Spring Day and Mushroom Risotto... for real.

Last night when I went to make the mushroom risotto I discovered that someone (Jon) had eaten all the mushrooms I had purchased for the risotto. I was in a horrible mood and he was kind enough to bring home two salads for our dinner and dried porcino mushrooms. So now they are soaking in my kitchen and I am finishing a baby quilt I was commissioned to do which is really late. I'm happy to be doing the binding on the quilt, but I need to do that, make and eat risotto (poor me), do my yoga video again, shower and be in the city by 7:30pm for improv practice. It feels like a lot to do.

I will survive, something tells me.

It's a GORGEOUS spring day here today, all the windows are open, and the cats are sniffing and running and meowing at everything. It's distracting but cute.

Okay, back to binding before the porcinos are calling my name.

Mushroom Risotto and a cloudy aquarium

My husband and I recently purchased the Biorb and downsized our 20-gallon tank to the 4-gallon Biorb, putting our Betta fish "Ozymandias" in it. I love it. Except today, about a week in, I noticed the water was extremely cloudy. So I changed it, emptying out and replacing about 50% of the water and it helped at first... and now it's right back to cloudy. I'm terrified I'm going to kill Ozzy and would very much like someone to tell me it's okay.

He seems fine - chipper in fact - but I'm still nervous. I read on a site somewhere that this should clear up in a few days and it's just the "system clearing itself out". ??? I think it's fucking weird, but I have never quite understood the science of aquariums.

And tonight I'm making Mushroom Risotto, which sadly will require me to get off my duff, as my mum used to say, and do something. I just got back from the gym and I'm enjoying being a couch potato while watching "Law and Order: Criminal Intent".

I'm enjoying THIS COOKBOOK that I got a while ago and have now labeled all the recipes I want to try. And in it is a recipe for Mushroom Risotto.

And yesterday I did THIS yoga video and it kicked my ass. If you're a beginner, I recommend this video.

Springtime for Hitler and East 7th Street!

Another Spring, another lovely awakening of nature in Brooklyn. Cool, crisp breezes, birds chirping almost manically, cats and dogs happily trotting down the street sniffing the air. It make-a me happy.

I have decided to photograph all our feral cats so you can see the cuteness that lives in back of the house where we rent our apt. I LOVE this neighborhood. Love love love love. It's absolutely perfect for me and I hope we can someday have a more permanent home here. But until then, I count myself to be one of the lucky ones who gets an awesome big, sunny two-bedroom apartment with cool landlords/neighbors and one of the best neighborhoods I've ever experienced.

So here we go! Trees are starting to blossom and birds take over the tree in front of our apartment which means lots of chirping... and lots of bird shit on our car.

And also here are some photos of my cat, Yoda, force-snuggling his brother Eskimo (both of whom were born in our backyard). Yoda just happens to be force-snuggling me right now as I try to type this around his enormous corpus.

Happy Spring everyone!