Mom

Me: Do up your seatbelt.
Her: We're only going a few blocks.
Me: Accidents happen closest to home.
Her: Well, we better move! (laughter)
Me: (eye roll)

Me: Rich people don't have any problems.
Her: You don't know that. All people have problems, rich and poor. You don't know those people or what their lives have been like - don't judge them.

She taught me that to be a perfect houseguest you should leave the place looking just a little nicer than how you found it. It is a lesson I try to apply to all areas of my life.

When I was nervous about how to talk to people I didn't know she gave me this advice:
When you don't know what to talk about, ask them a question about themselves. People love to talk about themselves and before long I'll bet you find you have something in common.

She taught me not to be afraid to ask questions, look stupid. It's how you learn.

Her: You should do one thing every day that you're afraid of.

When I was in college I went to the school where she taught learning disabled third graders to meet her class. I stood next to her slight 5'8" frame (I'm 6'2") and she beamed up at me and said to her class, This is my baby girl.
I still am.

She never gave up. Not ever. Not even when she should have.

After remembering many things my mind always goes to when she was dying and some of the things that happened, things that we both said or didn't say. I try not to focus on those. They are horribly painful memories and too layered and complicated for me to sort out. I try to remember the lessons about life, not death.

Here's what I remember most about you, Mom: You were my greatest ally, my strongest supporter, my toughest critic. You taught me what unconditional love is. You showed me. Every day for 27 years and 4 days. I miss you and I love you. Always.

quinoa pancakes & a hangover, in my opinion

i was a party girl before i was a mom.

last night i ventured out to columbia university campus to congratulate a good friend of mine who just finished classes in her grad program for writing there. i hung out with a bunch of writers and poets and drank wine with her and her family. it was awesome.

but oops- i forgot to eat much yesterday and stayed out until 2:30am. i felt like i was 30 again. (see? some people would say 25 or even 20...not me. 30.) i even shared a cigarette with friends. it was like sex. it was incredible. and i do NOT miss smoking. blech.

i got to see my friend and her family and her writer friends and another friend who lives in south korea and i haven't seen in a few years. it was just a great night. a warm night in nyc full of energy and smart (young) people.

i feel like shheeeeeeeeeiiit today. my husband had to work so i took care of my son and if i may say so, i did a fantastic job given how crappy i feel.

part of the fantastic part was making quinoa pancakes. it seemed like a great idea. and they turned out well.

make some quinoa, and follow this recipe. couldn't be simpler. i used agave syrup instead of maple or sugar (lower on glycemic index), omitted the ground flax seed because i don't have any, and added one very ripe, mashed banana. they are so yummy my son gobbled them up as did i! i will make more and freeze them. no need to serve them with syrup, in my opinion.

i said, in my opinion.

Quinoa Pancakes

by Rachel Gurk on March 11, 2011 · 19 comments

I’m a big breakfast person. Well, I am now that I am a stay at home mom. I usually have two eggs, toast, fruit, juice and coffee. I’ll probably switch to egg whites (or at least 1 of each) when I’m done nursing and have to watch my calories more closely. Sometimes I’ll have oatmeal with ground flax, dried cranberries, fresh or frozen blueberries and toasted walnuts. So yummy. Lately I’ve been on an egg kick though. It is important for me to eat a big breakfast because sometimes I don’t get a chance to eat lunch until about 3pm. So when I came across this recipe, I tore it out because I knew it would be a good way to add protein to my breakfast. Also, it came with freezing instructions, helpful for hubby to grab as he is running out the door in the morning. My mom came to visit and made a version of these, and they were really good! I stuck a little closer to the recipe than she did. 

Quinoa Pancakes
adapted from Everyday Food magazine
1 cup cooked quinoa or brown rice (I used quinoa)
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 large egg, plus 1 large egg white (I used the pourable variety of egg whites)
1/2 tsp course salt
1 Tbsp  unsalted butter, melted, plus more for skillet
1/4 cup low fat milk (I used skim)
2 Tbsp pure maple syrup (I think my mom used white sugar but I gotta say the maple syrup is really tasty in this recipe)
2 Tbsp ground flax seed (optional, this wasn’t in the original recipe–I added it)
1) In medium bowl, whisk together quinoa, flour, baking powder, and salt. In another medium bowl, whisk together egg, egg white, butter, milk, and syrup until smooth. Add egg mixture to flour mixture and whisk to combine.
2) Lightly coat a large nonstick skillet or griddle with butter and heat over medium-high (I did medium). Drop by heaping tablespoonfuls (I used a 1/4 cup measuring cup) into skillet. Cook until bubbles appear on top, 2 minutes. Flip cakes and cook until golden brown on underside, 2 minutes. Wipe skillet clean and repeat with more melted butter and remaining batter (I skipped the wiping and skipped adding more butter–I was using a nonstick skillet. I’m sure the butter would have made it taste better, but it wasn’t necessary with the type of pan I was using). Serve with maple syrup and fresh fruit or preserves if desired. Makes about 12. (I doubled the entire recipe because I wanted to freeze some).
Freezing directions: Freeze cakes between sheets of waxed paper in sip-top bags, up to 1 month. Reheat in toaster.

Verdict: These are really, really good. They are different from your typical pancake because there is a little bit of a crunch from the quinoa. The pure maple syrup gives the pancakes a really nice flavor. I wasn’t sure how reheating them in the toaster would go, I was thinking that maybe the microwave would be better. However, I heated three of these in my toaster oven this morning, and wow! It was like they were fresh off the skillet because they were crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. Delicious.
Husband’s take: He used the toaster oven for these and he really liked them. However, he just told me “I prefer IHOP with chocolate chips and strawberries and whipped cream.” That’s my healthy hubby! No really, he is a bit of a health nut. When he wants to be. Aren’t we all?
Changes I would make: Next time I make these I’m going to try them with whole wheat flour, or maybe half whole wheat and half all purpose.
Difficulty: Easy. Just make sure you remember to make the quinoa in advance.

a list of the best things in the universe.

hyperbole & a half's depression part 2.
this is a scarily accurate description of how i have felt (somewhere on this spectrum with a HEAVY accent on the HATE face sequence) for about 97% of my life.

and, of course, there's the God of Cake entry which is not to be overlooked. cake being one of my obsessions, i am a big fan of her interpretation of cake-vision.

i will update more to this list later. first i have to work out to release endorphins so i avoid massive depression. and no, i'm not joking.

who would kill a monk seal?

this article in today's Times is riveting.

this is a perfect example of human complication. how science, culture, human emotion and accident all play into making this world of ours. incredible.

shakshuka with feta

as usual, i was perusing the Times Dining & Wine section and found this recipe for shakshuka. i'd never heard of it and it sounded simple and delicious. it was! i followed the recipe exactly and it turned out very well. oh, except i baked the eggs for about 15 mins because they jiggled too much at 7 and 10 minutes for my taste. then i burned my hand on the pan when i took it out of the oven. don't do that.

we ate it with truffle mushroom ravioli which was a little too heavy, next time i'll pair it with a vegetable or salad and it'll be perfect. this is a great recipe for brunch if you want impress people and have an easy time cooking.

celery potato soup & chocolate caramel tart

today we are eating healthily and need some comfort. so when i saw this recipe in the Times for celery potato soup with leeks and garlic i thought, that would be perfect. and it is. very easy to make, very delicious to eat.

i didn't bother with the bouquet garni, but threw in fresh thyme from our garden on the stem. i blended it with a hand immersion blender, didn't strain a thing, added some kosher salt, walnut oil and chives, also from our garden, and it was perfecto.

i bought a pre-made crust from the store and tried my hand for the first time at making caramel, which is surprisingly easy, as long as you know what you're doing a bit. this chocolate caramel tart from Saveur looks amazing. a friend once got a mini version for a dessert with sea salt on top and i could barely stop licking my fingers after eating it. the caramel in the pre-made crust is cooling overnight in the fridge. i will make the ganache in the morning, chill it again, add sea salt and serve it when friends come over tomorrow night. recipes this simple make me happy.

you do not need a candy thermometer to make caramel. it should boil for approx. 20-25 mins and turn the color of a copper penny but do not boil it so long it starts to smoke. (which mine totally did right before we whisked it off the heat.) that means it's burning and burnt caramel is no good, apparently. i tasted ours and it's fucking delicious so i'm not worried.

i'm really looking forward to tasting the completed tart and looking like a baking wizard.

that's right...WIZARD.

3 things you can do to help your life and health

1. cook!

According to Michael Pollan, the author of The Omnivore's Dilemma and In Defense of Food, the number one thing you can do to change the food system in the US and to help you and your family eat better is to cook! He has a new book out called, Cooked: A Natural History of Transformation.

Well, we already cook all the time. It's hard to keep getting inspired, but I think this is one of the best things the internet can be used for. I just made this dish with artichokes, peas, and orzo over the weekend and it was delicious. It was too time intensive for my current schedule with a baby, but the end result was delicious and it fed over 6 people for a picnic, along with a sundry of other items we had.

I also can't rave enough about this garlicky broccoli recipe from the Times as well. I make it at least once a week and because of it, my husband and I eat a lot more broccoli. It's super easy to make and is just incredibly yummy.

2. stop using plastic bottles for water!

they cost too much and are a huge detriment to the planet. buy a reusable bottle and fill it up at the tap. tap water also has fluoride in it which will help prevent cavities for you and your children- not true of filtered and bottled water! Eating Well magazine suggests this Takeya bottle is a good one. I also use Camelbak bottles which are light and easy to use and BPA free.

3. grow your own herbs and food.

we grow our own herbs and some food each year. depending on where you live (climate, i mean), you can grow a bunch of different stuff. you don't need a lot of room, but you do need sun. and water. we have a patio and this year i've already planted our herbs. we will scale back the food we grow because i have a young child and don't have much time to dedicate to watering, but i'm still looking forward to fresh herbs all summer long. plus, i will freeze them so we have fresh herbs until the following spring as well. this way you know there are no harmful chemicals on your food and once established, your garden will save you some money on expensive things like fresh herbs.

my favorite things to grow are low maintenance, high-yield like tomatoes, especially cherry tomatoes, herbs, hot peppers (thai), zucchini, lettuces. this year we are doing herbs and maybe one tomato plant and that's it. we also have a fig tree and two blueberry bushes that i hope will produce a lot of berries this year!

yay, spring!