yesterday at the playground i saw a woman who reminded me of my mom. she had grey hair and was beautiful, but not in a conventional way. she was watching her son play, patiently, calmly. she was relaxed and there was something about her ... i'm still not sure what it was. but i could see Mom again, as a person and not a figment of my imagination. i could picture what it would be like to be in her real presence again for a moment. to see her watch my son...it took my breath away.
i don't usually try to picture her much. it's too painful. i wanted to go over and talk to this woman, just chat with her, to be in her presence for a while. every few years i run into someone like that, who seems to have a similar spirit and i try to engage them in conversation. to get that feeling again, if only for a moment. but i was with a group of people, so i didn't.
so today my head is full of ghosts. it's been a rough week. time to go make dinner.
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