I'm tired.
I've been getting up at 6(ish)am for the past few days to babysit my friend's daughter, Sam, in NJ and I commute there each morning to arrive at 8am and then return leaving their place at 12:30 and getting home around 2pm. I'm POOPED!
Sam is wonderful, as is the little 1 1/2 year old I'm babysitting in the afternoons, but kids do not stop moving! It's giving me a window into what it's going to be like to raise them (hopefully). Yikes.
This old girl better invest in some tea! I didn't have tea today and fell asleep on the subway holding to large plastic bags of different kinds of Halloween candy and a few coloring/sticker books I got for Sam with Hello Kitty, My Little Pony and various kinds of sea animals on them.
I am going to be a zombie bride. This will be my 2nd year as a zombie bride since I insist on getting the most use out of my wedding dress as possible.
So much has happened recently I shudder at the thought of trying to get it all down here, but I will say I have had a lot of time to think about life in the long term - to observe how hard it is to get older, and to start to admit to myself how much in denial I am about my youth passing me by. I assume that because I WANT to be young forever that somehow I will escape the bonds of mortality that shackle... oh, everyone who's ever lived. Alas, I fear this not to be the case.
So I embrace my age (35), and admit that I feel MUCH closer to 27 and am shocked that I must begin to act like an adult or risk losing the privilege of having a family and a few other experiences, and hope that as I get older I can both keep my sense of play and adopt a graceful attitude of what I can no longer do with the same laissez faire affect.
It's raining balls here in NYC today and ALL I want to do is curl up in bed with my kitties and read a book. But I must prepare for sitting with Milo who is just quite mobile on his little feet and loves to explore and throw blocks and repeat words over and over.
Life. It is never boring. At least not mine. Not in the past.... 10 years anyway.
