probably one of the most difficult parts of parenting a very little one is managing my expectations of what *should* be happening vs what is happening.
these darn babies, they have a will of their own, their own needs, desires, and ideas of what should happen at any given moment.
it's been a good, albeit frustrating, lesson on patience and ... i want to say fortitude. stay the path, take a deep breath, take twenty. don't freak out because there's cat shit on the floor for the third time today (old, aging cat = disgusting things you'd never thought you'd live with) and my son is screaming because he's hungry and had shots at the dr today and i'm also hungry and all the bottles are dirty and the washing machine is broken and i have three important phone calls that i've been trying to make during business hours for the past two weeks and he has no clean clothes and i had to dig pajamas out of the dirty hamper last night.
take a breath. take five.
after he has his bottle and burps and spits up on me and i calm him from squirming because he's impatient and TIRED of being held still and vertical in a vain attempt to minimize spit ups, he turns to me and breaks out into a huge, heart breaking smile. hello, dimple. hello new reason for living.
back to crying, squirming, cat is meowing for food, he spits up, rag falls to floor, phone is ringing...
it never stops. well, maybe for a few minutes but by that time i'm so fried i just sit in a chair and stare at the wall or tv or internet. a video of someone juggling socks? great. don't care, as long as it isn't taxing.
but the thing is i've grown really good at being like, well, shit, that didn't work. try again. or try it this way. try later. make a note. ask for help.
i have an old address on my driver's license. yes, i've lived in my apt for 2 1/2 years. i went to the DMV like a million years ago when we first moved in to update my address and they got it wrong so my new license never came and then i got pregnant and had a baby and there you go. now i want to take books out of the library and i need a current and correct license with which to do this.
fine. i go to the DMV website. find the online application to sign up for an online DMV account which is what i need to do in order to fill out the online form in order to update my address on file in order to fill out the form to update my license.
i enter all the information. i get a "this does not match our records on file" message from their website. so it looks like i will be sitting on hold with an earphone in my ear while i play with my son sometime soon.
take a breath.
i called a financial fund i have earlier today to ask a few questions. i want to transfer something, how do i do that? you fill out a form. (see a theme?) i go to the website. the form i need is not available on their website. i'll have to call back again during business hours.
sigh.
now 40 minutes of my unbelievably precious 90-120 minutes of "me" time has vanished and i still need to wash bottles, make dinner and clean and RELAX before tomorrow at 6:30 is here again.
off to make food! don't know what i'll make. i'll have to see what jumps out at me when i open the fridge.
