Robyn - Dancing On My Own

i'm obsessed with this song and video. i think i might dance to it tonight with a glass of wine.

A cool vid from my friend, Stacy.

THIS is a cool song.'

God spoke and the light shone down...

"Let there be Kettle Salt & Pepper Potato Chips... BAKED!"

I had some last night and today... and I'm here to tell you, they are fucking delicious! Haha!

All the taste, less than half the fat - bring it, Kettle, bring it.

Homemade Caprese, makin me a-crazy.

Soooooooo good.

6 feet tall and smells like dead bodies?

Me A FLOWER, Lois.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/38376749

Garden Report: All is growing like mad. And very tasty.

Last night's Pasta Primavera with fresh zucchini and squash and a homemade marinara made from our homegrown tomatoes was... how do you say - DIVINE. I love yellow squash it was oh-so-buttery. Man, watering all those days has paid off into some yummy veggies. This is my first time dedicating myself to a vegetable garden so I'm extra excited.

We are having a heat wave in NYC right now. It's already 92 F outside and will get up to 94 ("but with the humidity it will feel like 103"). Ugh. I HATE heat and humidity like this. However, I am glad to see the sun and have my plants performing photosynthesis like it's their job.

Portulaca is a great succulent plant (aka "moss rose"), it is blooming like crazy now. I planted them in really sunny places on our terrace that will get sun most of the day. I highly recommend it if you have dry, rocky soil and want a bloomer without too much effort.

I bought some cone flowers yesterday and potted them along with some bushy little yellow flowers of which I can't remember the name right now. I am heading towards an English garden look on the terrace. I love love love my lavender. (I am partial to French lavender rather than English.) Last year's lavender is blooming like crazy this year! The one I bought this year looks great, but I know it won't bloom until next year. I love the breezy, airy flowers - it makes me feel like I'm in a field in the English countryside relaxing... and then I look over the side and remember I'm in Brooklyn.

Our hot peppers are finally appearing, although no sign yet of the habaneros they have grown a lot as plants and I expect to see them soon. We have yellow bell peppers and tons of different kinds of tomatoes. All the herbs are doing well - I cannot, for the life of me, keep cilantro going. I have tried twice and I give up. Curry, parsley, tarragon, chives, rosemary, chocolate mint (dear god, if you don't have it yet go get it now), sage, thyme, oregano... all of these are flourishing.

The challenge in weather like this is keeping up the water so they don't dry out and die. I'm having a lot of trouble with my cucumbers which I attribute to planting them in a too small pot. I will try transplanting to a larger one soon I think to see if I can rehabilitate the ones I have.

I have learned do not plant more than one zucchini or squash plant in a large pot. They will grow and produce much better when have tons of room to take over.

The peony plants are doing well but will not bloom until next year.

I am about to start composting (well, I have a full composter on my kitchen counter) and using that as fertilizer rather than the Miraclegro.

I think that's all for now. Any suggestions or comments are welcome!

Any thoughts on growing beets in containers? My thought is they are not worth the effort - you only get one beet per plant, right? And they are not super expensive.

Thunder! Lightening! Very very frightening!

Not really that frightening. We have a tornado watch this evening which has been very exciting to watch from our new terrace. Oooohhhh aaaahhhhh.

It's on its way out to Long Island now. But there are more storms coming our way from the Midwest as far as I can tell which is fine with me. Get some storms in here and maybe some of the humidity will drop.

Tonight we are making pasta primavera and a caprese salad for dinner. We gathered some tomatoes, zucchini, and squash from our garden tonight. My husband is making his excellent marinara sauce with fresh basil and tomatoes. I'm boiling up some quinoa spaghetti or soba noodles (can't decide) and slicing veggies.

For a moment, we have natural entertainment and good food. All is well.

Pasta Primavera

Boil water with a teaspoon of olive oil in it.
Add noodles and cook until al dente.
Slice zucchini, squash, and sautee in small amount of olive oil. Salt and pepper to taste. Do not overcook. Veggies should still have a slight firmness. Remove from heat.

Strain noodles and put in large bowl.
Add marinara sauce (your partner's if you're lucky like me - add mushrooms, one thai chili, diced, kalamatas or capers and wine!) and stir.
Add veggies, another tsp of olive oil, grated parmsan & serve immediately!

Fuckin Friday.

(Begin "At Last" by Etta James).

Do you ever get an urge to hit the town lookin for cold beer, sexy men/women and piles of coke? Yeah... me too.

[George Bush expression & intonation ala Dana Carvey] "Not gonna do it!"

But hot DAMN it's tempting. Aging or no aging, sometimes a girl's gotta rock!

Sandal me.

Looking for a really comfortable sandal that is sexy and fancy enough for a wedding or nice restaurant? Look no further.

Clark Un.Crow

I have wide feet, size 10, am 6'2" and live in New York City. I walk a lot and have planters fascitis (i.e., painful feet after a lot of walking) - I have been looking FOREVER for sandals that look nice, have a small heel and are comfortable enough to walk around the city in. These are they.

They cost $110 and come in great basic colors. I wore them to my friends wedding in the woods of Maine and wear them around the city all the time. It's love at first wear.

I did get blisters on the inside of the balls of my feet the first time I wore them. I let the blisters heal and have never had any other trouble. I LOVE THEM.

Let Summer footwear be comfortable! And cute.

Learning to love the little things.

This is a half-baked thought/s. Recently I have noticed that I have become... less impressed with the world and more frustrated with how little seems to move towards... progress? There is still war. We are still in one. There was a giant oil spill. They can't clean it up. There is still rape and murder and slavery and torture and people who think they can tell others how to live... why these things should suddenly stop happening when they've been happening for thousands of years, I don't know. But it bothers me. A lot.

I have a friend who gets happy, really happy, about little stuff. She isn't as interested in the big picture stuff as I am, she doesn't feel it's her duty to seek it out and understand it (which is what I believe). And she's happy more than I am. About getting a really good sandwich, or sitting in the park on a lovely day. I used to love those things too. Perhaps it's because I want to apply myself to something in life in which I find meaning, perhaps it's that I am a depressive person and a cynic and consider myself a realist (which is exhausting). But regardless, I would like to have a few more moments in my life where I can appreciate the little things that happen all the time that are kind of wonderful. Otherwise I think I may go insane.

I don't want to be ignorant or a Pollyanna (and don't think I could be if I tried). I do consider it my duty to seek out information and truth even if it costs me something. Even if it costs me a lot. But I also want to be happy. And I haven't been very happy recently. And I'm tired.

And I think I should discover some of the wonder that the world has to offer. Because if you look for it, it's there. Just like the rape and the torture and the corruption and heartlessness. They both exist, simultaneously. The balance is curious.

Once bitten, twice shy.

My cat, the furry soul mate of my life, bit my finger soooo hard last night while I was sleeping. He actually BIT me. He's nipped at me for 13 years, but never really bitten me except once when I put my hand between him and another cat he was fighting (my fault).

He likes to bite my clothing, pull his head back and let it snap back into place in order to wake me up to get him food. He especially likes this with elastic things like the straps of my Summer nightgown. He was doing that... and then he sank his fangs into my finger. I gasped as I woke up in shocking pain, ran to the bathroom and saw blood dripping off my finger.

I'm still stunned he did that and really don't think he understood it was my finger. He adores me in his own psychotic way.

But I am a little nervous to go to sleep tonight. What if he does it again?

In the Woods by Tana French

I give this book 3 out of 5 stars. ***

In the Woods.



I was pleasantly surprised at first at her writing, and then I found it inconsistent and perhaps grasping at something it couldn't deliver. I continued reading it and was completely absorbed into this mystery (which is really 2 mysteries). I finished reading the book at 4am one morning, unable to put it down after convincing myself that the author would give me a payoff at the end, and was really disappointed.

I really enjoyed reading it, but the ending SUUUUCCCKKKKEEDD. I was mad. I know endings are hard and it's easy to criticize, but there is SO much build up during the novel - so many times the protagonist is reflecting back on what we are finding out and giving us teasers as to what's to come - and it falls completely flat. One mystery is never solved at all and the other is not finished, but turns sharply in another direction with little to no explanation/insight as to why it happened.

Having said that, I totally enjoyed being obsessed with this book for a little while. I hope her next one lives up to the potential.

Things I want but do not need

The ice orb!!!

Pasta & Parmesan Tool.



The Fresh Traveler.

The mean reds

I always remember how Holly Golightly in "Breakfast at Tiffany's" calls depression "the mean reds".

And that's where I am today. I'm also totally exhausted physically and emotionally. I hate feeling like this. I am trying to take it slow and not think too much.

It's post-wedding mean reds. Not mine, of course, but a dear friend's.

Glad to be home though... but not necessarily ready to be back in life. I need a vacation with my honey. This year has been a doozy and I'm really fucking tired.

Back to Law & Order.

Crotchety old man

I had a fabulous time in improv rehearsal last night. We worked with a great coach who kept us on task and helped us through some scenes which was a huge help. I did a scene with my friend, Suzy, where she was my granddaughter trying to shave my face and I was a belligerent, crotchety old man who refused to do anything she asked. After making my initial choice to be a negative, cranky man I started to acquiesce to her desires almost immediately. Brian, our coach, stopped me and said, "What was your first line?" I said, "I can't do it". He said, "Do the voice." I said in a rasping, gravelly, snappish voice, "I can't do it!" and he nodded saying, "Stick with that."

The more I stuck with that - not wanting her to touch me, not finding motivation in the things she presented - the funnier the scene got. In my head I was thinking, Don't fight, don't deny your scene partner, don't be too negative (which is ironic), instead of realizing that my first choice was being positive and supporting my scene partner. If I start off saying, "I can't do it!" then my partner should know that whatever she poses to me I will respond by saying "no" in my cranky way.

It's not a very complicated scene, and it certainly could go many more places, but it was funny. And it was SIMPLE. We were able to play with it and have fun knowing what the structure was and not having to worry.

After Suzy and I finished the scene, we returned to the "back line" (where we stand waiting to enter a scene) and she said, "You have a lot of old man in you" and laughed. It struck fear into my heart at first, thinking of my sometimes hateful father (on whom I based the character), and then decided it was okay to mimic what I've seen in my life and it doesn't necessarily mean I'm destined to the same fate.

Amazing what our minds do to us even in the small moments of success.

Then I went to UCB and saw another member of our team compete with her other improv team in an improv-off called "Cagematch". She was hilarious. I love working with her and was so happy to get to watch her make her choices. The audience loved her. It was thrilling to know her personally and see people shriek with laughter at what she was doing.

Today it's cleaning and organizing and packing as we get ready for our New England vacation next week. We leave tomorrow on my birthday to head to Boston to visit a dear friend of mine who moved there in May.

I have lived in Boston and have many memories there, not all of them ones I wish to revisit. But I think I will stay away from the parts where I lived and spend my time having margaritas with my husband and friend. Boston is not my favorite city. In general, I find the culture repulsive, but I also love certain parts of it. I hope to show them to my husband someday and explain what it was like to live there without acid in my voice. The city is not all responsible for what I don't like to remember. Although the annoying frat boys, classism, gay bashings, racism, and general chip-on-shoulder routines that seem all too prevalent in Massachusetts are tedious and stupid. There are great things about the city like the architecture, seafood, city parks, theatre, music, and academia.

Then we are on to Portland, ME to visit a few friends and I can't wait. I love visiting Portland and eating my body weight in lobster, soaking in the sea air and cool breezes while sipping a fabulous cocktail that costs a fraction of what it does in NYC. If it sounds like I'm a tourist, that's probably because I am. People ask me where I'm from and I often have a hard time answering. I have lived on both coasts of the US for about equal parts of my life and different cities for differing amounts of time. I like change and adventure in that way. I get bored easily and don't like to feel trapped in a small place where I know everyone and everything. I prefer to be a bit of a stranger while still having very close friends on whom I can rely. So traveling to me is fun and interesting. I like my anonymity and one of the alarming things about getting older is realizing exactly how small the world is. I like to think I can disappear at a moment's notice. The fact is, I think that would be much harder than it seems.

But I'm not going to disappear (I hope) on this trip. This trip is about seeing loved ones and celebrating the changes that happen in our lives as move forward. No matter where you live, once you're in the presence of a good friend it all feels familiar.

I'm cleansing, I'm cleansing, I'm cleansing.

That's what I keep telling myself. It's funny, for the most part eating fruit and veggies is really pleasing... but about two hours after I eat, I'm really hungry. So I'm tired of eating peanut butter on crackers to get protein and tonight I've informed my very supportive and wonderful husband that we are having vegan burritos. Refried beans, black olives, orange and yellow bell pepper, salsa and avocado. I grabbed reduced fat sour cream at the deli and then thought, "No, no - that is not allowed!".

I just downed a bag of baby carrots and a bunch of hummus and feel much less panicky. I do think my body is happy with me. But man, I get hungry quickly.

My friend's wedding is coming up and I'm so excited! I've known her since I was about 3 years old. And I can't wait to go up to Maine and celebrate with her family. I'm close with her parents and love spending time with them which is rare.

We've been having a heatwave here on the East Coast which is supposed to let up tonight when it will go down to a cool 88F. Beats 100 tho.

And my birthday is coming up. I'm glad to say I'll be on the road for my birthday having a great time with friends. I could use it. It's been a long year and for the moment, we get a breather.

It's official. I stink.

It's 100 degrees F here today in the fair city of New York. And I ran around in the heat sweating like a pig (I'm not entirely sure how pigs sweat, but madames et monsieurs- i SWEAT), carrying bags from my local food coop (hippy) home to my air coniditioned apartment. I was dripping when I got home.

And I have recently switched to all natural deodorant instead of antiperspirant because supposedly it's the devil or something. I use this deodorant, to be specific. And usually it works pretty well considering that I am moist from May - October. But today... today I smell like a French peasant.

I am going to a wedding next week. In Maine. Outside. On a pond. What. the. fuck. Am I gonna do? Cave and wear antiperspirant? Or stand strong and own my body odor with tea tree oil on my side?

Only time will tell.

This is not me.

A guy threw up next to me today...

walking up the subway stairs at 34th street. Well dressed, young guy. Threw up suddenly with people all around... and kept walking. Like it never happened.

Like it never happened.

Vegan for a week.

So I have decided to go vegan for a week. My dear friend is getting married on a pond in Maine next weekend and I'm going to be there for the wedding, celebration, bbq etc. But before then I'd like to lose a few lbs and have my skin look refreshed... basically, I need to stop drinking and eating crap.

So I decided to go vegan for a week and see if I could do it. I have never identified myself as a non-meat-eater and drink milk like it's going out of style. I'm one of the few adults who actually drinks glasses of milk with relish. My husband is too.

I have read that consuming animal products may not be as healthy as we think it is. I'm sure for those of you who can eat fish and lean meats, whole grains, steamed veggies and all in moderation on a regular basis this drastic measure is not necessary. But for someone like me - i.e., a compulsive consumer on every level possible, it's hard to make myself stick to certain things. So I decided to "close the door" on a lot of the unhealthy possibilities and make it easier on myself.

So far I've had a lot of rice milk (which is higher in calories, sodium & fat than fat free cow's milk I discovered... hmph), oatmeal, fruit, salad and tempeh. And all of it was damn good.

I do also have to say that I feel... lighter. Not thinner, necessarily, but lighter. I don't feel bogged down in my system, at least not from what I've had to eat since Sunday.

I'll keep you posted. I may get four days into this, see a juicy burger and curse the very thought of vegan-ism. Until then, it's one glass of rice milk at a time.

Laura Mercier Lipstick in Peony - Love it

I am recommending that all fair-skinned ladies (and perhaps all different skinned ladies too) go to Sephora or somewhere they carry Laura Mercier's lipstick. I have a typical redhead's complexion (i.e., fair and freckly) and it is the first lipstick EVER to match my natural coloring, making it pop in a good way and not look too pronounced. It lasts well, is pretty and you can do two coats for more color or leave it looking more natural.

In short, LOVE IT.

Check it out for yourself!

Laura Mercier's Peony

Laura Mercier's Peony Gloss Stick on Amazon

A Popped Cherry.

I going to share with you the new cocktail my friend and I just made up. It's sooo good on a hot Summer day.

Vodka of your choice.
1 or 2 jiggers, depending on your tolerance/desires.
Organic cherry juice (I use Santa Cruz's Black Cherry), a few fingers' worth.
Seltzer.
1 tsp Chambord
Fresh chocolate mint**
(Frozen cherries as garnish, optional)
**There is such as plant as a Chocolate Mint plant. It smells and tastes like chocolate mint (more smell than taste). It is PERFECT in this drink. Go to your favorite nursery and ask for one.

This drink is what I will be having all Summer long. It's fresh and rich and feels like you're doing something good for your body instead of loading up on liquers and creams.
It is also good with vanilla vodka minus the chambord.

Happy sipping!

Hallo. Vacation, dreams & life.

I am sad that the World Cup is almost over. I'm not a huge soccer (football) fan, but I like the countries of the world coming together to compete and being represented. It's fun to see who roots for what team and why.

My husband and I just bought a condo. In NYC. It has been a long process of being in contract and ignoring it because it wasn't time to do anything, and then doing a lot a lot a lot of paperwork and dealing with different personalities to get things done. It is FINALLY over and we are home owners. It's a great feeling, but I will be more excited about it once I have a feeling as to what our monthly finances will be. It still makes me very nervous. Our new place, however, is really great. It's light and we have views of trees and the sky which, especially in NYC, is rare and luxurious and soothing.

Next week we are going to MA and ME to visit some friends and go to a good friend's wedding. I'm excited to take a trip and also reluctant to leave our new place. We still have crap in boxes and I want to get it clutter-free so when we come home at night it is organized and relaxing. Such are the pressing issues of my life.

I am going vegan for a week. Except I might eat some seafood in New England. But besides that, I'm going to try going vegan to see if I feel better. I would like to try a mostly plant-based diet... everything I read tells me it's great for you, and I have never ever ever thought of myself as a vegetarian, nevermind a vegan. But, if it makes my body feel good then I'm all for it for a short amount of time to see if it works.

I am exhausted today. I had drinks last night with two good friends who came over for the 4th. We had cocktails and went up to our roof to watch the fireworks over Manhattan which was fun. Earlier in the day some other friends came over with their two kids, 4 and 7 months, and their baby took a nap on our bed. While he was napping our cat, Mo, played kitty nanny and watched over him. It was very sweet. As soon as the little one woke up, Mo got up and went about his business. Animals always amaze me with their instincts and emotional awareness.



Now it is the beginning of the week before vacation. And there are a list of important things to do before we leave. I am greatly looking forward to getting away with my man - NYC can be taxing and draining and it's great to get out and see some nature, eat fresh food and just have a different pace of life. Plus we get to see some good friends and celebrate with one of my closest friends and her family at her wedding! That is super exciting.

Someday I would like a vacation bungalow near the ocean. I miss going to ocean (this is the first summer I haven't gone with my family in decades) and listening to it as I fall asleep. There is nothing that relaxes me more and I can come back to my life refreshed and ready to once again tackle the every day puzzles that constitute my daily existence.

Plus, it's fun.

I would like this place. Thank you.