Soup weather

With Fall comes a change in diet. I'm watching what I eat in an attempt to be more healthy for the 800th time. And that combined with dropping temps means soup.

Tonight, after a good day, I made split pea soup from Saved By Soup. It's super yummy and was so easy I can't believe it. Here's the recipe:

2 tsp canola or corn oil
1 medium-sized onion, chopped finely
2 medium-sized carrots, cut in half lengthwise, and sliced 1/2" thick
1 rib celery, trimmed and finely chopped
2 cups split peas, rinsed and picked over
4 cups defatted chicken or vegetable broth, preferably homemade
2 cups cold water
salt, pepper
(i added some chopped organic ham)

heat the oil in a heavy bottomed saucepan over medium-high heat. add onions, carrots and celery, stirring, until vegetables begin to soften, about 2 to 3 mins. add the split peas, broth and water and bring to a boil. partially cover the saucepan, reduce heat to medium-low, and simmer until soup is thick, about 45 minutes. season with salt and pepper to taste before serving.

sooooo easy and yum!

i'll try more from this cookbook and let you know how they are.

a storm has its way

so as you already know, new york was hit by hurricane sandy and turned into a noreaster or something like that. i was here, in my apartment with my husband and newborn, and it was not fun. at all. but we, unlike many other NYers, fared well with no flooding and no damage to our home. so all in all, it was just a terrifying night for yours truly. i've never experienced wind like that in my life and i've been through several hurricanes, including one on cape cod.

so as new york recovers from the damage that was done by the hurricane, i continue my little life taking care of my son. because i'm a SAHM (that's stay at home mom for those of you who don't read parenting blogs and websites), my little orbit is pretty small these days. so the lack of subway doesn't really affect me. i take walks and call people and pretty much attend to the needs of my two and a half month old son. sometimes it's the best feeling in the world and sometimes i want to smash my head against the wall. often within minutes of one another.

i have been drinking lemon water. this is the kind of thing that is mildly exciting to someone who only leaves the house to push a stroller around prospect park. i feel like it's healthy and found this on pinterest and thought i'd share it. because of course, if it's on the internet, then it's true.

i'm having my one hour of freedom before i have to go to bed so i can wake up and feed my son so i'm not going to post long.

here's a little something that made me smile when reading about the hurricane aftermath. i love cats. and i love that they band together, which they totally do unlike the stereotypes about their affect. i have three of them, i should know.

it was this part, in particular, that made me grin. picture this:

"In fact, in the eye—when the eye of the storm passed over Atlantic City, apparently, according to one of the security guards at a casino, 25 cats were walking single file down the boardwalk looking just fine. And he said the cats he looks after—Pepper, Pewee—they’re all fine.”

now, how awesome is that? 

a smoother smoothie

i'm OBSESSED with the smoothies i've been making.

i've decided to start adding whey protein powder to them after hearing about it from friends and reading about it online to make a smoothie more of a meal. it really works. i'm able to go much longer after having a smoothie before eating again if i add the protein powder.

i bought blue bonnet's chocolate flavored whey protein and add 1 scoop of that per person. today i made one with lots of frozen cherries (a great combo with the chocolate), a Tbs of unsweetened cocoa per person, 1 banana, about 1/2 cup of frozen strawberries, some cold water and a few Tbs of flax seed (sometimes i add honey and cinnamon too but not today). DELICIOUS.

i have to stop myself from making them more than once/day. that's how good it is. but it's super chocolatey. i hear the vanilla flavor is good too. but seriously, this is good shit.

i'm already looking forward to one tomorrow. mmmm...chocolate whey powder.

mini corn.

last night as we were eating chinese food my husband and i had this conversation.

me: what the hell are mini corn anyway?
him: what?
me: what are mini corn? are they really mini corns?
him: (sigh) yes.
me: oh.

a new friend.

today was a good day and a hard day ... again.

right now brooklyn is shrouded in fog. i love fog so much, and miss it from my days in san francisco. we only get a few days of fog per year and right now it's cool and misty and you can barely see a few blocks away. i love it.

my mom's best friend visited me this morning and met my son. she brought me this guy. i opened the door and she was holding it in her arms. i burst out laughing.

 it was so good to see her. she's a lovely person. she held my baby, cooing over him and talking to him. it was wonderful to see. she had never been to my current apartment and looked all around commenting on different things. she saw the wall of photos i have of my mother and stopped, quiet for a moment. she said softly, 'how beautiful...i've never seen these pictures.' and held up a hand, got tears in her eyes and looked at me, shaking her head. then she kept studying them and smiling.

we had a great visit. she shared some of her experiences as a wife and mother and listened to mine thus far. the time passed quickly and when she left i was sad to see her go.

after she left i was more tired than i've been in weeks. i could have slept for days. my son was tired and fussy and i didn't get the nap i hoped for, but we managed through the hours, took a walk in the evening as the fog rolled in. i talked with friends who listened to my difficulties as a new mom and gave me good advice.

and i returned to our quiet apartment with my tired son. i saw the photos on the wall of my mom and found myself crying. seeing her friend had brought back to me just how real and wonderful she had been, had made real the fact that she won't meet my son. i will tell him all about her and shower him with the love i know she would've bestowed upon him, but it's not the same.

sometimes people say that i should remember that if she were alive today it wouldn't be like the rose-colored nostalgic memories i have of her. (they should see some of my memories.) it would be fraught with all the complexities of a real world relationship. and i know that. i don't need rose-colored. the thing people don't realize is that even if she were alive and we fought and disagreed and were at odds it would be worlds better than this. because right now there is me with photos on my wall having a one sided conversation. and all there is on the other side of that is silence. interminable, relentless silence. i'll take the complexities of real world any day over that never ending mute reality.

it was so good to see her friend and have her in my space. to remember what it's like to have an older person who has known you for your whole life see a change in you, reach out and share some of it with you. i loved that.

the rest of the day was hard for me. and now i'm exhausted. but i had to write this down so i don't forget. as my son fell asleep on my body tonight i felt such tenderness looking down at him. his chubby cheeks, his little arm flung across my body. i am often filled with so much love i feel like i'm going to burst and the deepest, most intense feeling of dread. i can't protect him enough. but i hope i can hold onto the memories of these nights when i nurse him to sleep. how he snuggles into my body and sighs so contentedly. what a muffin.

i'm in love with blue dawn.

this is what's happened to my life now.

i had a baby and now i'm in love with a toxic-looking dish soap. it probably tests on animals (haven't looked yet) and gives you cancer, but goddamn it cleans well.

tonight i had two bowls of chocolate organic o's and chocolate chips with peanut butter because it was an emergency. it was such a hard day. there are great days with my newborn son, great moments, great seconds, and long, hard, exhausting, challenging hours, minutes, seconds and days. today was a hard day. i went to bed too late - was up watching the debate and trying to have a few hours of "me time" - and paid for it today.

i long for 5 hours where i can fuck around on the internet aimlessly.

so today was a tough one. he was cranky, i was exhausted. didn't shower, barely ate, managed two walks and a couple phone calls and to not go officially crazy for one more day.

now i'm off to enjoy a tv program and a shower before heading to bed and doing it all over again beginning at 3 or 4 am.

paleo chocolate pudding with coconut milk whipped cream

drooooooool

Chocolate Paleo Pudding with Coconut Whip Cream
2 ripe avocado
2 ripe banana
4 medjool dates, pits removed
1/2 cup cacao powder
1 1/2 tablespoons coconut milk
1 tablespoon maple syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
pinch of sea salt
Instructions:
Place all ingredients into a bowl of a food processor.  Process until all ingredients are smooth and well incorporated.
Transfer pudding to bowls of choice and refrigerate for 15-20 minutes before serving.
Top pudding with Coconut Whip Cream and fresh fruit or on it’s own.
Makes about 3 to 4 servings of pudding.

recipes that make me drool. chili!

how good does this look?

it's chili season, after all.

Black Bean, Sweet Potato, and Quinoa Chili with Smoked Chipotle

Author: Monique

Recipe type: Dinner, Lunch, Healthy

Prep time:  10 mins

Cook time:  30 mins

Total time:  40 mins

Serves: 4-6

A filling chili made with Black Beans, Sweet Potato, and Quinoa, topped with a cooling smoked chpotle yogurt.

Ingredients

• 1 teaspoon olive oil
• 1 small onion, diced
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 2 medium carrots, diced small
• ½ teaspoon turmeric
• ¼ teaspoon cinnamon
• pinch of nutmeg
• 1 teaspoon cumin
• 2 teaspoons chili powder
• 1 teaspoon Smoked Chipotle Tabasco sauce
• salt, to taste
• 1 can (15.5 oz) low-sodium tomato sauce
• 2 cups cooked quinoa
• 2 can black beans (15.5 oz), drained
• 4 cups low-sodium vegetable stock, plus more to thin if desired
• 1 large sweet potato, peeled and diced into small cubes
• For Chipotle Creme:
• 1 cup plain greek yogurt
• 2 teaspoons Smoked Chipotle Tabasco sauce, plus more if desired
• ½ teaspoon honey
• ¼ teaspoon dijon mustard

Instructions

1. Heat the olive oil in  a medium pot over medium-high heat. Add the onion, garlic, carrots and salt; saute for 5 minutes or until onions become translucent.
2. Add the entire can of tomato sauce to the pot. Next add the black beans, vegetarian broth, all spices, and quinoa. Bring to a boil; reduce the heat to medium, add diced sweet potatoes. Cover and simmer for 30 minutes, or until potatoes are tender. Taste and adjust the seasoning if needed.
3. Make the smoked chipotle yogurt combine tabasco sauce, honey, and dijon mustard in a medium bowl.
4. Spoon chili into bowls and add yogurt sauce on top. Enjoy!

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I was just mentally rehearsing

how I would depict Anais Nin in a game of Pictionary, so I'm ready. Look out!

My mom used to say...

"Do one thing a day that you're afraid of."

That would annoy the shit out of me. I remember her visiting me in San Francisco when I was in my early 20's and we took a walk in Golden Gate Park. We were in the Japanese Tea Garden, I think, when we saw the Drum Bridge and she wanted to walk over it. I was hungover, as I often was in my 20's, and wearing a skirt and didn't feel like it. I said, no let's go somewhere else and my mother, being my mother, said, NO, let's walk over the damn bridge.

I was wearing sandals, I fall a lot, balance is really, really not my strength and all I wanted was a quiet walk with my mother in the park. But she insisted, finally yelling at me, "Every day you should do one thing you're afraid of!" I acquiesced and we climbed up and over it - not as easy as you might think looking at the photo - and we went on our way. My head was pounding, my palms were sweaty, I almost lost a shoe...but we did it.

And I just wanted to tell you, Mom, that I can honestly say that I've reached the point in my life where pretty much every day I do at least one thing I'm scared to do. I'm not going to go sky diving or start holding tarantulas, but I force myself to do things that aren't easy. And I'm really glad you said that to me 3,497 times.

The Trip

Come, come, Mr Bond, you get as much pleasure from killing as I do.

This movie, and in particular this scene, is fucking hilarious. If you haven't seen it, you should.

My little love affair with NYC

Many people dislike NYC and they are entitled to their opinion, but I find it one of the most wonderful places in the world. I have loved living here, and would love to live here for a while longer before I eventually move on to the next place I call home. (I never anticipate staying in one place "forever", dunno why.)

The things that I love about New York are the obvious ones: Central Park, the skyline sends a pulse running through my body, the pace of the city, museums (if you've never been to The Met it's one of the loveliest places on earth), restaurants and bars, the sense that things are happening here all the time- all the time, the subway...but the thing that really stands out to me in NY is the people. Nowhere else in the United States, maybe on the planet, can you find such a diverse population all thrown together in one jumble of humanity.

When I say 'diverse' I'm not just talking about racial diversity, although that is a huge part of it. I mean diversity of all kinds. There are bankers, fashion designers, filmmakers, homeless people, graduate students, teens who've grown up here and walk with an attitude, politicians, independent business owners, painters, musicians, writers, architects, therapists, parents, children, public servants, professors...the list goes on. There are people who openly talk to themselves in public, not to draw attention to themselves, but for some internal reason. There are people who are clearly in need of medication who are looking for interaction with the general public (these people are the reason NYers are famous for a lack of eye contact with strangers. If you've ever made eye contact with one of these people, especially on the subway when you can't easily leave, you adopt that same aversion right quick.) Just yesterday a homeless man complete with bevy of plastic bags was annointing the subway platform with the last vestige of water from his water bottle collection as he waited for a train. He would reach into his bag, grab an almost entirely empty plastic water bottle, uncap it, and start throwing the bottle mouth out towards the platform like a priest performing an exorcism, spraying water everywhere, re-cap the bottle and put it back in one of his bags. Then he glanced around to see if anyone was going to dispute his actions, reached into his jacket pocket and spilled orange peels all over the platform. There was a garbage can less than 3-feet away, but he clearly had his own plan.

98% of us all ride the subway and buses together on a daily basis. Over 8 million people live in the 5 boroughs (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, Bronx, Staten Island) and several million more live in the surrounding areas and commute into the city every weekday for work. You can (and I do) walk down the street in any neighborhood in any part of the city and hear a multitude of languages being spoken.

What this tends to mean for me, as a resident of the city, is that there is a tolerance of other people and their differences. NYers are well known for being grumpy which I think is a misunderstanding by people who come from places where you greet people with a smile and some chit-chat. I find NYers to be the most helpful people when you need assistance or information. Don't expect to get to know their name or have a personal bonding moment, but if you need help carrying a stroller upstairs or directions, they are jumping in to help before you know what's going on.

I remember when I moved back to the city in 2004 and lived in Hell's Kitchen (coolest neighborhood name ever). It was Winter and I was on my way somewhere, hurrying down into the Times Square subway station, which is quite large and labyrinthian. I was running down a flight of stairs to the subway platform where a train had just pulled in and saw a homeless man in a men's tank top and dirty pants wandering around the platform, no doubt trying to keep warm as it was snowing outside. There was a woman ahead of me, jogging down the steps to try to get on the train- in a matter of 5 seconds I saw her see the homeless man, remove the scarf from around her neck, run- literally run- past him, placing the scarf around his neck and jump onto the waiting train before the doors closed and it started moving. The man looked down at the scarf surprised at its sudden appearance, shrugged, and continued wandering. I stopped, halted with tears in my eyes as I witnessed one of many kindnesses I would experience living here. The woman didn't speak to him, didn't pause with indecision or ask for any kind of thanks. Nor did the man offer any.

I described why I love NY to someone once and he said, "If humanity has a disease, New York shows the lesions." Which it absolutely does. There is dirt and pain and failure and inconvenience and noise. NY's main goal is not to be palatable or pretty or easy. If you want easy, go somewhere else. If you want real, gritty, exciting, challenging, and a chance to be one of or among the best of the best- you're in the right place.

I happen to think, as does my loving husband, that it's the greatest city in the USA. I'm proud to live here and wear my residence like a badge, which a lot of people do. I know that irritates people from other cities. If you carry your groceries through 90-degree heat after a 1-hour subway ride complete with homeless people begging for change and walking up countless subway stairs you too would say with pride when someone asks, "Where are you from?" - the grin, "New York".

Because it's hard to live here. It takes a certain amount of determination, dedication to The Cause. I don't know that I will always want to dedicate myself to this lifestyle- and there are many reasons people leave, not the least of which is money- but I'm proud to do it now and will always have a fondness in my heart for the sight of Gotham's towers.

I love that I can go into the city from my relatively quiet Brooklyn neighborhood filled with tree-lined streets and families, be in the thick of the bustle where people will sigh impatiently if you pause in the middle of the sidewalk, blocking the flow of people, do what I gotta do, take the train home, and walk down the streets of my hood again- saying hi to the owner of the wine bar who smiles when he sees me, waving to a neighbor from my building walking his dog across the street, buy a fresh made doughnut from the local bakery and have the woman who works behind the counter, who is younger than I am, ask "That it, sweetie?", and then drop into the Tibetan organic grocery store for lemonade.

Yesterday I walked to the subway, took the train into the city to my OB appointment- and let me tell you, when it's 85 degrees out and you're one week away from your due date walking around is not exactly a joy- saw my dr and turned around to do the reverse 1-hour commute. I went to the bank around the corner from his office and decided to get a smoothie from a sidewalk cart specializing, as his marketing announced, in organic smoothies. I ordered The Summertime Special and waited for the handsome young man behind the counter to make it. He did in record time, handed it over to me as an older (and I'm seriously guessing tourist) couple approached. The young man worked quickly and had ear buds of an iPod or the equivalent in his ears which did not, in any way, prevent him from hearing my order. The older woman of the pair approached the cart, looked at the fruit and plastic bottled water on display and asked in a somewhat fearful tone, "Do you have small waters?" The young man looked at her as though she were not-so-bright, and gestured to his display saying impatiently, "These are the waters that I have." She and her husband moved on immediately, obviously displeased with his answer which I thought was odd because they were the standard Poland Spring sized bottled waters. The young man behind the counter looked at me with irritation and a dash of amusement. He shrugged and said softly, "What the fuck?" I laughed and took a sip of my Summertime Special and went on my way. It was, as I thought to myself then, a pure NY moment.

I took the subway home, finding a seat and enjoying the air conditioning. As I got off at my local stop I waited in the line to walk up the station stairs, following the path of a woman who I would guess was about 60, also listening to music with ear buds in her ears, and singing, off-key and sporadically to Jay-Z's Empire State of Mind. "Off-white Lexus...but BK is from Texas...I could trip a referee, tell by my attitude that I'm most definitely...from Neewwww Yooork, ..where dreams are made of...nuthin you can't do..."

I followed her up and out of the station, marveling at her unembarrassed singing, huffing and puffing my pregnant self through the heat and discomfort, and thinking, "God, I love this city."

Cruelty-Free Shampoo & Conditioner

I try to exclusively buy cruelty-free personal products because I am an animal lover and wish to avoid supporting companies that test on animals. But buying cruelty-free can be expensive sometimes.

I recently found myself wanting to buy new shampoo and conditioner but not wanting to shell out the $11+ for a bottle of Paul Mitchell (my favorite brand) products. I found THIS LINK to a site that suggests cruelty-free cheaper personal care products. And on it I was thrilled to discover that Tresemme does NOT test on animals and is reasonably priced! How great is that? I bought Tresemme Moisture Rich shampoo and conditioner and used it, love the smell, love the way my hair feels after I use it and can get it guilt-free!

Companies standards on animal testing changes constantly, so for an accurate list of which ones do and do not test on animals go to the PETA website here and do your own research.

Here's to great hair without making the furry ones suffer!

Why Does the World Exist?

i am so excited to read this book! this is a tough subject to discuss since a lot of it is hypothetical (in fact, most of, if not all, the information we consider fact is hypothetical but some is more defensible than others, i guess), but this certainly doesn't stop me from considering it! why IS there anything versus there being a vacuum?

Why Does the World Exist? by, Jim Holt

i LOVE the idea that nothingness annihilated itself into something! "Das Nichts nichtet"! that is super cool, as is the thought that zero morphed into +1 and -1 (matter and antimatter). i can't wait to read the theories of the people he interviewed. universes "as plentiful as blackberries"! imagine!

oh, it's so exciting.

i just ordered it and am going to try to read pre-baby. there's nothing i'd rather contemplate as i help to bring a little being into existence!

Making Optimism Work for You

someone recently sent me a link to this article which i found really interesting and invigorating. i'm not a huge fan of optimism because i always associate it with naive thinking, unrealistic views of the world that usually involve high levels of denial, and FORCING one to be happy, even when you're not.

i love how the emphasis in this article is on action, not on feeling happy. it makes sense to be ready for opportunity, to "fake it until you make it",  and to do it- and then learn how. no one knows how to live life until you get out there and RISK SOMETHING.

Making Optimism Work for You

i also love the Thomas Edison quote about not failing, but finding 10,000 ways something didn't work. i.e., taking the judgement out of a task and simply moving forward.

the tips at the end i think are extremely helpful. in particular, getting out of your comfort zone (something my mom was a great fan of) to get involved in your life; being in control of your feeling vs. them being in charge of you; and meditating to allow your feelings wash over you without judgement or reaction (this is really hard and something i'm working on) so that you can acknowledge them without INTERNALIZING them and letting them get in your way.

i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i did.

today, i'm proud to be an american

and that doesn't happen every day for me.

this country has worried and upset me a lot recently, but today we lived up to our potential. let's keep it up!

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/29/us/supreme-court-lets-health-law-largely-stand.html?hp

good job, SCOTUS and President Obama!!!!!!!

things i love and do not need.

a collapsible dog bowl from Charleston Naturally. great for travel or at the beach with your pooch.

these i already have and use all the time. the cheap, environmentally friendly and super useful Baggu.

this colorblock cutting board from anthropologie is way too expensive for my taste, but i love the look! perfect for a beach house or nautical theme.

a nautical door knocker on sale from pottery barn for $20. naut bad. ahahhahahahhaha....kill me.

these pillows from nenavon on etsy.com are killer and only $25! another reason etsy is great. you can find super stylish stuff for a fraction of the larger retail design store. if i had a beach house, i would buy a ton of these.

a sailor tote bag for the beach for $33. cute! stripes, everywhere!

oh, and i have a mentioned that a beach house would go very nicely with all of these.


 these lacoste beach towels take your beach wear to the next level. modern, stylish and now on sale at macy's.

those are my summer purchase suggestions, should you be in the market for more stuff!

cherry pie

is one of life's simple pleasures. so i made one. and it is as good as one remembers. recipe here.

cold cucumber soup, a great recipe

well, it's hot here in brooklyn today. and when i say hot i mean 94.5 degrees farenheit and climbing. so i've been inspired to break out my cold soup recipes and this is one of my favorites. i love cold soup, but sometimes they are a little too bland. this one has quite the zip because of all the garlic, scallions and chives. feel free to not use so much garlic if it's too much for you. it 's super easy to make and delicious.

6 cucumbers, peel if waxed
1 1/2 tsp sea salt
6 cloves garlic, cooked for 1 min in boiling water, and then peeled
1/4 cup champagne vinegar or white wine vinegar
a few drops of tabasco, or hot chili, sauce
4 cups plain yogurt, regular or low fat
1/2 cup minced chives or scallions
1/4 cup olive oil
2 tsp walnut oil, suggested but can substitute olive oil
freshly ground white pepper
additional yogurt for garnish, optional
additional minced chives for garnish

1. cut the cucumbers in half lengthwise and remove the seeds with a teaspoon. cut into 1-inch slices and toss with salt. let sit 1 hour at room temperature. rinse well and drain.
2. in a food processor, combine the cucumbers, walnuts, garlic, vinegar, tabasco, and yogurt. process well.
3. stir in the chives, olive oil, and walnut oil. chill for at least 6 hours before serving.
4. before pouring into a chilled picnic thermos (chill by filling with ice water and then pouring out), adjust salt, white pepper, vinegar, and tabasco.
5. add a dollop of yogurt and sprinkle of chives, if desired, to individual portions.

apricots and fat free cool whip

after having a lovely snack of apricots and fat free cool whip i received an email with this in it:

which foods have more pesticides on them and which foods are lower in pesticides

should have washed that apricot more thoroughly! (or at all)

do you love the green grass?

people may not understand why i put so much effort into gardening on our terrace in brooklyn. but this is a perfect example of why. there is nothing quite so genuinely pleasing as having fresh cut flowers or fresh fruit/food from our garden. i love these roses. they are planted in a large whiskey barrel with herbs.

next year i may try to get another rose bush to add somewhere else- i have a special love of peachy/pink roses and i would love to have those.

these are peonies i have cared for that bloomed just in time for my baby shower. have you ever seen anything so beautiful? me neither.

we may be growing a lime!

not one the size of a tic tac, but a real lime! i've had a dwarf lime tree in a container for two years now and we get teeny tiny limes that appear occasionally and drop off after a week or two. i realized the pot was probably too small - the old one was a plastic pot from IKEA measuring about 15" across and equally as deep - so we got a 10-gallon galvanized trash can, fertilized it with compost, and repotted it and voila! a lime bigger than any lime we've had before.

i'm very proud. if it drops off, i'm committing hari kari.

never run out of jam.

i just ate so much food if anyone had been watching in my apt, they would have run away screaming and never spoken to me again. i believe the list is as follows: four eggs scrambled with cheddar cheese and a side of sriracha sauce, about 1/3 of a loaf of raisin nut loaf toasted with either butter or peanut butter and jam. and maybe a few chocolate chips made it in there as well. this is what happens when an 8-month-pregnant woman decides to ignore her hunger pangs for four hours.

while i was shoveling food into my gullet i had several thoughts running through my brain, the most pronounced of which was: i vow to myself never to run out of jam.

bonne maman jam is my absolute favorite and i make sure to have at least one jar on hand at all times. my favorite flavor is raspberry preserves, but wild blueberry and marmalade come in right behind.

having just finished my food orgy i'm now sipping on my new favorite tea-
peppermint chocolate tea by the republic of tea.

they have a whole selection of chocolate teas. do you understand? A WHOLE SELECTION. i am trying to burp as often as possible, but i'm afraid the burp is actually vomit. sexy, i know.

i just returned from a trip to the midwestern city of minneapolis to see my brother and sister-in-law and aging father. it was a great trip and i'm glad we got to go, but seeing my father is always difficult. he was a charismatic man full of a zest for life, humor and passion until my mother died 11 years ago and he lost his way. i am not going to go into it fully because it's information not well suited for a blog on the internet, suffice to say, the wheels have come off the wagon. he needs to move to a new senior facility- the lovely one he's been at doesn't work anymore.

the day before we left to go on our trip, my husband and i received and computer generated audit from the IRS regarding a stock sale that wasn't reported on our taxes two years ago. oops. we thought we had submitted all the necessary paperwork, but it turns out we didn't. so now we are scrambling to come up with the documents which is always a treasure hunt. i'm a pretty organized person, although you would never guess it to speak to me, but even i don't have documents for the past 15 years on this one account. i only have the last 7 years. paper fail.

we also returned home to find that one of our three adorable cats peed all over a hefty bag with linens i no longer want that was sitting in our living room. who cares about the bag or the linens, but it's left a permanent black stain on our NEW hardwood floors that now needs to be sanded down and restained.

and did i mention we are expecting a baby? in 8 weeks. we also have to put the nursery together and finish cleaning out our closets to make room for all the baby crap associated with newborns.

none of this is world-ending, but it's enough to get my head in a state. pile on top of that, another short trip planned, projects that i swore up and down i would get working on pre-baby and you've got a woman who can barely make out the three post it pages i put up on the fridge with the list of to-dos.

the cucumbers need that extra trellis! they are grabbing onto the blueberry bush for godssakes! the snow peas need netting! how do you prune petunias? is the sore on my other cat's lip serious? why did i fail to mention it to the vet when we took 2 out of the 3 cats to the vet two days before we left town because one is mysteriously limping and the other won't stop shitting on the floor?! god, we need primer before we use the paint samples in the baby's room otherwise the COLOR WON'T BE EXACTLY RIGHT AND WE'LL PAINT THE WHOLE DAMN ROOM TO DISCOVER IT'S NOT THE CORRECT SHADE OF AQUA!

i'm also rather laaaaarge these days and making it around nyc to do errands or make appointments takes a lot more time than it used to. my baby, as i've been writing this, has been punching me in the bladder which is full with peppermint chocolate tea, thank you. the chair i'm sitting in also FAINTLY smells of cat urine...just enough to make me pause and think, was this chair violated as well? or is it something else nearby? i'll do a thorough inspection soon, but today i've already contacted my accountant, the stock company, my therapist, two friends and made a meal large enough for a small baseball team. (are they one size only?) and i haven't yet cleaned the fridge before the groceries arrive and i have to fill it up again. and oh my god, we need new cat litter and toothpaste and olive oil. ack!

and all i want to do is watch Murder at 1600 which happens to be on tv. sigh.

i'm unemployed now which is glorious so i have time to deal with all of these things, but it's amazing to me how much can happen when nothing is happening.

 i called a friend of mine who has a newborn and is not working and said she has back pain, was supposed to have all four impacted wisdom teeth removed (a procedure she has literally been avoiding since she was a teen), then a dead tree fell on their house and the landlord doesn't seem to care...she said she was taking it all in stride until she cut a beet in half the other night and was trying to get it to fit into a piece of tupperware. the damn thing just wouldn't fit and she said she just about lost her mind. she canceled her appointment to remove her teeth, gave the beet to her husband and took a deep breath. i was laughing, knowing exactly how she felt. it's all fine until the fucking beet won't fit in the goddamn tupperware.

now i only have 40 mins to clean the fridge before the groceries come so i better get to it. maybe i can sneak in some Murder at 1600 while i do it.